Why, you may ask, has it taken me this long to write these thoughts? After all, the election was almost two weeks ago and it's not as though the topic hasn't been anchored to the forefront of most of my conversations since then, right?

It's a good question.

And I have an answer for it.

Besides the obvious point that I am just a teensy bit occupied with the world that is business development at a start-up the truth is that I wanted to make sure that the energy with which I was galvanized after the election was ... for lack of a better word ... real.

It's oh-so-easy to get fired up in the moment, and even to sustain such energy for several days as you're swept along - by your own passion as well as the roaring river of others' emotions.

But most people have short attention spans. Myself included. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a bit more than cynical as to whether the collective disgust and fury (or my own) over the Prop 8 debacle would coalesce and gather momentum. Or would it suffer the fate of so many largely unstructured movements and fade away.

Ten days may not bring quite enough data to be considered a statistical conclusion, but I feel pretty safe in saying that just as Democracy proved itself alive and well on November 4th, in the time since, so has the equal rights movement.

For starters, the last time this issue came to a vote, the delta of loss was slightly north of 22 percent. This time when the very last vote is tallied, that differential will be somewhere between 2 percent and 4 percent.

Did I mention that the last time this issue came to a vote was 8 years ago?

A 20 percent change in 8 years is a pretty big deal.

It becomes an even bigger deal when you consider the tactics employed by the Yes on 8 campaign and its supporters that led to their victory.

I won't say they cheated, because technically they didn't. What the proponents of Proposition 8 did was work the system more effectively. They targeted the communities they needed to win with precision, and then they presented those communities with just enough bullshit, pushing them towards the vote to which their inherent community qualities already had them inclined.

It was a masterful stroke of politics given an even greater advantage by the fact that the other side just wasn't as well organized or mobilized.

And that's where the gleam of silver lining explodes through for me.

This experience was to the LGBT community what George W. Bush was for the Democrats - a clarion call to pull our collective heads out of the sand, get serious and get something accomplished.

In the days following the election I watched with amazement and pride as myriad groups appeared across various social media platforms. From "Repeal the CA Ban on Marriage Equality", which is the largest thus far on Facebook, to the NoonProp8 Twitter account, to more traditional web sites that have social media structure underneath them like Join the Impact (and these are merely a few examples), the community is engaged.

And things are starting to happen.

In Sacramento, the artistic director for a musical theater company resigned when it came to light that he had donated substantially to the Yes on 8 campaign.

Another group mobilized, outing the CEO of the Cinemark Theater chain, who donated a sizable sum to the Yes on 8 campaign, at the same time that he is reaping profit from showing the recently released "Milk" - a film about San Francisco's first openly gay Supervisor who served as a champion and lightening rod for the modern gay rights movement. In this effort, they're also using digg in an effort to further spread the word.

These are just a few examples. The Internet is rife with links, groups and organizations sprouting up. Which of course could be a challenge, but I'll address that in a bit because first there are two things about all this that make me proud.

For starters, as a rule the LGBT community isn't altogether cohesive. In fact, as I've written about here before, the infighting and backstabbing is pretty common among the almost ridiculously splintered set of sub-groups. And this time, at least so far, I'm seeing a more true sense of solidarity.

Secondly, and perhaps even more important, is the fact that many of these activities are powered heavily by people who are not members of the gay community.

Now to the challenge of which I made mention above. At the risk of closing on a downer note, I do feel that urging caution is important at this point. And there are three thoughts on which I wish to leave you:

1) Abraham Lincoln said it far better than I ever could, but to paraphrase - a house divided unto itself cannot stand. (If you have never read the full speech, I highly recommend you do so.) And so the LGBT community must put aside its petty differences and stand strong, which leads to the next point, namely;

2) This movement must be inclusive, meaning that this is not about gay rights, this is about the right to marry - for anyone. It is imperative that we rise up from this disappointment stronger as a group and more powerfully allied with the majority, who we know truly supports civil liberties for all.

3) And finally, it is critical we learn from our mistakes. This is not about a traditional, top-down political effort. This is about doing for the latest struggle of the civil rights movement what Obama did for overall politics. And it's not an either/or. It's about AND.

I am proud to be stepping forward and joining forces with some amazing people in an effort to help bridge the divide among the various parties, bring together the old-school top down approach with the truly democratized power of social media.

So stay tuned ... more to come.

I'm honored to be part of this group of amazing women, which includes:
Suw Charman-Anderson
Rachel Happe
Anne Kathrine Petteroe
Maggie Fox
Jennifer Leggio
Francine McKenna
Marilyn Pratt
Laura Fitton

If you missed the McKinsey survey, here's a link to a Forbes article that summarizes it pretty well.

With that, here's the commentary I proffered:

To be honest the whole gender thing in business has always been a bit off putting to me. While I cannot discount the fact that the glass ceiling - while deeply cracked - is still far from shattered, at the same time, I've always held that the most critical part of being a strong woman in business is just to be strong in business. Be aware of the issues, but keep your eye on the ball and kick ass.

Granted I speak from the perspective of a woman who has benefited from a cavalcade of strong females who marched ahead of me. These women, starting with the suffragettes and continuing through the ensuing ripples of the feminist movement, are the reason women like me have a relatively easy time of it these days.

But this isn't about feminism nor is it about gender equality. This is about how, in today's changing business landscape, perhaps it's time to look more closely at where the genders shouldn't be looking at their differences but instead start looking at how to emulate the best of both worlds. And considering where old practices have gotten us, perhaps it's time when being a woman - or at least acting like one - could be the most powerful asset you have for success.

The parts of the equation detailed in the McKinsey survey - feelings and such - are traditionally the purview of women. In today's world, however, compassion, heart and having some sort of emotional connection are of paramount importance ... regardless of gender.

The part I find amusing, actually, is the title of the survey. They call it "centered" management perhaps because the moniker "self" centered connotes the traditionally megalomaniacal, self-absorbed tendencies of the ruthless CEO - Larry Ellison comes to mind as one example. And it is true that if you look across the large number of successful business leaders, it is probably pretty likely that you'd be hard pressed to call any of them "nice", "kind", or "compassionate" individuals. Oftentimes I'd venture that it's their utterly self-absorbed, don't-give-a-shit about anyone perspective that has been central to their success.

But I would argue that the times allowing this sort of behavior are drawing to a close and that today's world demands different behavior. It's time to turn egotistical preoccupation into awareness and action.

To me the McKinsey survey results aren't a surprise, except maybe insofar as no one had said it already.

It has perhaps never been more critical in business - or in politics or anything else for that matter - that leadership exhibit a sense of compassion, understanding and self-awareness. Perhaps it's simplistic to put in these terms but it takes me back to childhood and the lessons taught by my parents. Specifically that the first step in being a strong leader is to first be strong within yourself.

Following the five points outlined in the McKinsey survey, it seems to me that the best leaders are ones who are most in tune with themselves and who can then take their awareness and put it into practice.

I would posit that while women do not have the corner on the market for this sort of behavior (I have worked with many a male CEO whose compassion was one of the core parts of their super leadership, in fact I'm working with one now) we do, perhaps, have a home court advantage.

But enough about my thoughts - what do YOU think?

You didn't expect me to let you try and get away with just READING this did you?

Of course not.

With that, here's a conversation I invite you to join. It was started on Seesmic, and has been embedded at ZDNET as well. When you click on "Play" the "reply" button will appear in the upper right corner. Clicking on that prompts you either to log-in to your Seesmic account or register for one if you don't. The sign up is super simple and you will not leave this Web site to do it ... so don't be shy ...

Behaviors in business: The female advantage?Forbes article summary of McKinsey report: http://www.forbes.com/2008/10/03/talent-women-leadership-lead-cx_1003mckinsey.html

That was a long headline. But it does say it all.

Ycombinator, a technology incubator based in Mountain View and Silicon Valley, is taking applications through Friday, October 17th 10pm PST for its winter 2008 incubator cycle.

The most excellent Susan Mernit has galvanized a small group of us who are interested in seeing if we can help increase the percentage of women accepted this time around.

So ... If you are a woman who is planning to apply to ycombinator for this cycle and you'd like to have some mentoring and support before you submit your application from an experienced woman CEO/executive/entrepreneur sort, there's a posse of dames with moxie who are interested in working with you.

(Yes, I am one of them.)

To get involved with this group and ideally paired with a mentor, send an email with contact information and information about your proposal to pinkgaragementors@gmail.com; we'll circulate your information among our team and reach back to you.

If you are mentored, you will receive an hour or more of coaching with a woman exec. who has been through a tech incubator program, has been a tech CEO or co-founder, a tech industry analyst/journalist, is a VC or maybe even some combination of the aforementioned.

I hate to pull the whole "women are just more compassionate leaders" thing, but the truth of the matter is that we're in dire economic times and those times - more than any other - call for the type of leadership that operates from both the head AND the heart. And I think it's pretty clear how things are now based on the leadership we've had to-date.

Who better to proffer an alternative than an intelligent, aggressive (in the good sort of way), powerful female entrepreneur.

Here's to helping foster a new generation.

I refrain from anything too personal in my BitchBuzz writing, because ... well ... it's not appropriate. But on occasion those experiences and stories merit sharing some backstory. This being a cautionary tale, I feel compelled to share.

It all began with a number.

That number was 139 over 95.

You might recognize that as a blood pressure reading. It is. Mine. And as someone whose blood pressure has been a solid 110/65 since I was, oh, 14 years old, that number was pretty shocking.

And it scared the shit out of me.

So I went to my internist to get it checked out.

I walked into the office, went back into an exam room and the nurse came in. She took my weight (depressing) and then my blood pressure.

It was marginally better, 135 over 80, but still pretty elevated.

Great.

In came my physician. Dr. Gary Apter. He's just about the calmest, most easygoing fellow you'll meet - good thing in a doctor. He's been my doctor since I moved to California 18 years ago and has seen me through some pretty rocky business.

He sat down across from me and we began to talk. He asked how I was doing. He asked what I was doing for work. He inquired about my family. And then, as he continued chatting with me, he began - very slowly - to move over and pull out the blood pressure cuff.

As we continued chatting he wrapped the cuff around my right arm. Then he said:

"Okay Cathy. Now I want you to take three deep breaths."

I did.

Nearing the third exhale, Dr. Apter began taking my blood pressure. The cuff tightened. I felt my breath catch. Dr Apter paused and reminded me to breathe. I did.

He finished with the reading and smiled.

He moved the cuff to my left arm and we went through the process once more. Again I felt my breath begin to catch as the cuff tightened. He paused and reminded me to breathe.

He finished with the reading and again, he smiled.

"110 over 65."

Putting the stethoscope around his neck Dr. Apter told me that I needed a vacation.

The good news was that this was precisely my plan two days later.

The bad news was that in spite of my definitely being overextended and tired from work, I hadn't been feeling particularly stressed, and so the fact I'd become so normalized to such a tightly wound state gave me serious pause.

So for this trip I opted to cut myself off entirely from my usual digital connections for several days. No Twitter. No Facebook (or any other social network for that matter). No Seesmic. No email.

It was glorious.

And as I mentioned in that BitchBuzz post, the world didn't come screeching to a halt without me. That's a bit depressing, of course. We all love to feel that we're entirely critical and without our presence things would just collapse.

Truth of the matter is that while each individual is certainly important, and while we all bring value (at least hopefully so), when push comes to shove even the most influential, luminary powerful people are completely and utterly dispensible.

Lest you think this vacation served to do nothing more than turn me into Debbie Downer, allow me to offer some perspective.

Social media tools in their marvelous connectivity are a most excellent way to maintain the links you have to existing friends. It's also a way to discover new people and have a chance to learn about them in a way never before possible. In today's world we are truly living the Global Village experience.

You may hear a rather sizable "but" coming along and you'd be right.

Even with all the good that can come from this always-on world, it's important that one doesn't mistake being connected for being ... well ... overly important. Don't get me wrong, we are all as individuals very important ... each person's life matters in the big picture. That should not, however, be confused with being indispensable.

It's about balance. Having a healthy self-esteem is good. Thinking that the world revolves on your axis, is not.

Thing is, I've always been more of an essayist and tend to wax on more than off when it comes to telling my tales and proffering any punditry (such as it is).

Twitter has gone a long way towards helping me shake up that foundation a bit. The whole concept of spitting out thoughts in 140 characters or less really makes you get to the point.

But when it comes to this particular space, my inclination is to meditate, ruminate and even on occasion marinate a particular thought or idea and then try to make some bigger picture connection.

Not tonight.

And it's for a simple reason.

I spent a bit more than two hours on the phone with a friend whose very voice on the other end puts a smile on my face and, more importantly, in my heart. The funny thing is that we've not been friends all that long, but in a relatively short period have shared some rather intense experiences, deeply personal stories and incredibly intimate emotions. It's a friendship that caught me completely off-guard (in the best of all possible ways), and my life is all the more rich for it.

So here I sit.

I should have gone to bed about an hour ago. But I find myself energized and relaxed all at the same time. Curled up in the chair that my parents gave me from my childhood home, gazing out from the muted amber light of my living room to the sparkling cityscape outside (there's a warm whooshing sound from distant traffic), I have a sense that the distant hum I hear actually is coming from inside of me.

I find myself smiling.

This may seem a strange question for someone who's just coming back from a vacation, and so lest you think I've taken a turn for the geek in the last days, allow me to explain.

Friday, July 18 was Intels' 40th birthday.

I turned 40 in May.

Interesting parallel for me - the fact that Intel and I were born in the same year. I'm a bit older, actually, but I think Intel's had a bit more work done than I have ... at least so far. It's early yet on that front.

As for why I'm writing about this now instead of back in July, let's just say it's more like I'm just finishing up. I started this on June 5 and have iterated quite a few times.

But now that I've returned from my little vacation, freshly renewed and revisiting all that is tech, I figured it was time to post. If for no other reason than to start back to work (and kick-off September) with a fresh slate.

That, and frankly after spending time at the Intel Developer Forum last week I was feeling guilty that I'd not gotten around to this ...

To be honest, before getting the email heralding Intel's big anniversary, I hadn't given Intel's age much thought. Kind of like my own 40th.

I opted this year for a low-key (for me) approach to my birthday - a night out at the symphony with a friend (Brahms 4th ... and a superlative performance of it at that) and then a small gathering for champagne and dessert at Jardiniere's J Lounge.

But at some point during this "heck, 40's just another year and not a big deal" process, things shifted a bit. It didn't become monumental but it did become a mile marker. And with that I started thinking about my evolution over the last 40 years ...

What I'm doing now bears little resemblance to what I thought I'd be doing when I "grew up" but the motivation and the result are spot on. (If you ask what I thought I'd be doing ... I'll say this, Shakespeare was right, all the world is a stage...)

And I say Intel isn't all that different - except that they may have a few more challenges to face.

I'm in an interesting position from which to comment on this. I was invited to be part of a group that Intel initiated this year called the "Intel Insiders". Comprised by a collection of entrepreneurial/blogger/vlogger/media/communications sorts, the idea is that Intel gives us advance peeks at various projects in order to give our perspective and counsel on how to best leverage social media in those projects.

We had our first meeting at the start of the summer. It was a superb gathering, during which most all of those in the group [including some old friends: JD Lasica, Tom Foremski, Brian Solis, Chris Heuer, Christian Perry, Adriana Gasgcoine and new pals Sarah Austin, Frank Gruber (SomewhatFrank), Justine Ezarik (iJustine) and Irina Slutsky] met up at Intel's offices for a couple of hours to talk about the program and what we'd be doing.

We met and got to speak with a passel of Intel folks including Sean Maloney - who offered some surprising statistics regarding where Intel would be putting it's marketing budget moving forward. (Side note: he said that 80 percent of all marketing spend would move online in the next year. This is a considerable increase from their earlier statements on this.)

I had to skate out a bit early so missed the tour that resulted in this picture. But it was superb to bond with the group a bit and get a sense of what we might be doing.

That was several months ago, and to be honest we've not done a whole lot since then. There have been some emails but largely the program itself is still finding its legs.

But back to IDF and my thinking about Intel ...

Much of the conversation at IDF surrounded, as you might guess, the announcements the company was making but I had equally as many discussions about Intel as brand and bellweather for Silicon Valley.

Here is a company deeply embedded in the Motherboard of Silicon Valley - actually, scratch that, they pretty much built the Motherboard of Silicon Valley. In any case, they are at their very core a chip company. That's what they do. They make the stuff that sits at the heart of all those things we love - from computers to now television sets, set top boxes, cars and even a personal space flight vehicle.

But a couple of years ago, Intel made a choice. They decided that no longer did they want to be "just" that chip company. They wanted to be a consumer company.

No easy task.

I mean, most folks don't really care what goes inside their electronics, appliances or modes of transport - they just want them to work. This isn't too dissimilar from the challenge faced by another tech industry stalwart, Cisco.

So what's a company to do? People's minds and perspectives can and do change, but it takes Herculean effort and even then can be dicey.

Going back to where Intel's path and mine seem to run parallel - as I mentioned, while the things I do day to day may not be what I'd thought years ago, the type of work I'm doing and the motivation behind it (finding ways to get myriad, diverse groups connected and talking with each other) is right on the mark. It's taken me years of wending my way through a fascinating, if sometimes Labyrinth-like series of pathways, but at some point I internalized that which meant most to me - my core motivation if you will - and suddenly found myself square in the path of the work I'm currently doing.

Intel has taken the first steps. They have recognized that things need to change and are engaging with resources and outside voices to gain perspective. They seem to be listening to that counsel, and the next step will be for them to truly internalize and build on that new foundation.

It's a bit like changing the wings on an airplane that's already mid-flight across the Atlantic, but that's a different story.

And of course there's the issue of Moore's Law ... and whether or not Intel can maintain the increasingly breakneck pace with which the technology now accelerates.

From a personal perspective the whole time acceleration thing presents issues of its own, but as my friend Rob Hayes so kindly offered when I told him about my hitting the four decade mark in sync with Intel ... "Cathy, of course you're like Intel ... you get twice as good, every 18 months."

Here's to hoping.

I fell in love with Vancouver. (That's Vancouver, BC, btw)

For those who know me, and even for many who don't, it's abundantly clear from any number of tales I may have shared that I have a deep, passionate and truly connected love for San Francisco. It goes to the marrow of my bones, and has been like that since I stepped off the plane on June 26, 1990.

Part of this love comes from perspective. I've had the good fortune to travel a bit - both around the US and a touch of international - and no matter where I go, and how much fun I might have in other places, the best part of any trip for me is that approach to SFO over the Bay (added bonus if lucky enough to be on the approach pattern that takes in a sweeping, banked turn around the downtown area of SF and the Golden Gate).

So when I had a moment here in Vancouver this past Sunday afternoon - a moment when my heart swelled like it sometimes does back home in SF - it made me catch my breath, and then smile.

It was an otherwise unremarkable moment in time, strolling along and turning the corner off Granville by the Vancouver Art Gallery. It may have been the smell (a deep, damp, green earth scent blended with wafting aromas of salt and brine from the sea); it may have been the light (dappled amber when not shifted to gray from the charcoal clouds pregnant in the sky); it was probably a bit of both combined with some deeper sense that just felt comfortable - not dissimilar to how I felt upon stepping off the plane in the Bay Area on that hot, June morning eighteen years ago.

Amidst the sounds of city (construction, traffic, conversations - a strangely melodic audio melee) I could hear the raucous laughter of seagulls - reminding me of my summers in Atlantic City, NJ. I was born and raised along the Main Line suburbs of Philadelphia, PA but summer - and many weekends in the winter "off" season - meant heading for the Jersey Shore and our place one block from the beach.

I tell people that I spent my summers in the yellow section of the Monopoly board - between Ventnor and Atlantic avenues not too far from Marvin Gardens.

Really.

My dad grew up down there - back in the days when Atlantic City, NJ wasn't the punchline of a bad Vegas joke but rather an elegant seaside community where people actually did raise children.

As I recall the story, he and my mother met the summer after she graduated Penn State University. Her family, which was from Philadelphia, spent summers in Atlantic City. So after her college graduation, down to the shore they went. And, as these things go, someone (probably from the synagogue) said, "Hey, have I got a nice boy to introduce to your Doris..."

And so my parents met.

There are funny stories about those early days, but those must wait for another day, because this is a story about the place not the people. More to the point it's about what it means when a place reveals itself to be your soul mate.

Atlantic City always has held an incredibly strong place in my heart. It does to this day. I adored those summers and to this day the scent of sea (and the usual accompanying aromas of tar and wood from docks) sends me to a very special place in my memory. A place that is equal parts safe, warm, happy and hopeful.

But I digress ...

I was talking about the experience of feeling suddenly at home in a place that is, for all intents and purposes, a wholly strange place. Sure I was in Vancouver once before - in the September of 2005 for about four days - but that doesn't exactly a deep relationship make.

And that last trip, while fun, certainly didn't amount to any sort of deeply connected experience. I had fun and noted that Vancouver was a place I had to visit again.

So to be strolling by myself down a random street and suddenly feel that I was home was a particular jolt.

As I noted in a previous commentary, I came here to Vancouver for some R&R and to see what might come up if I let myself ... just ... connect.

And here's the takeaway thus far ... home does lie precisely where the heart does.

Going on vacation.

I'm not headed anywhere particularly exotic, though I am leaving town.

The weather won't be tropical and beachy, in fact it may be raining.

But I don't care.

For me, this is all about just doing it. Unplugging.

"Um, Cathy. What's the big deal? People turn off their computers and cell phones all the time."

Really?

In light of the reactions that many gave to my telling them I was extricating myself from the social media power grid for a handful of days, I became more convinced that our ever-connectedness was, indeed, more than a little bit of a societal problem.

And then I read today's New York Times (Yes, I actually read the physical paper ... almost all of it I'm proud to say) ... and came across Ben Stein's column.

For starters, I love Ben Stein.

To anyone who grew up through the John Hughes films of the mid 1980s Ben Stein's iconic drone of "Bueller? ... Bueller?" punctuated pretty much any lag in response time during a conversation.

Over time I grew to learn that he was not just "that guy" from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but indeed an accomplished writer, comic, actor and someone who actually also had a solid knack for offering great financial advice.

While whirring away on the elliptical at the hotel gym today, Ben Stein caught my attention with his musing on the digital shackles with which we bind ourselves. He speaks of the things we miss - like being human.

And so that's my test for myself this week - just how connected can I be to the people immediately around me? How connected can I be to the sights and sounds and smells of my here and now?

Obviously I'm writing this while on vacation so I've not wholly severed my connection, but have committed to only writing and perhaps posting some photos from my adventures.

Who knows, maybe I'll have some stories to share.

I tend to think so.

After all, jail time doesn't bring back someone's life.

But in this case, I have to say that I was thrilled to hear that Marjorie Knoller is back in jail - and this time perhaps for the rest of her life.

As far as I'm concerned she's getting off easy.

For anyone for whom this name rings not even a distant campanile, here's the Cliff Notes version.

Late in January 2001 a woman by the name of Diane Whipple was fatally mauled in the hallway of her San Francisco apartment building. The perpetrators: her neighbor's two, Presa Canario Mastiffs.

In the days that followed, San Francisco's District Attorney was having a hard time finding people to testify in the trial. People in the building were terrified of the couple who owned the dogs.

I'm not a resident of that building, and in fact live quite a few blocks away. But I'm a dog owner, and so meandering the neighborhood and spending time in all the parks means that I cross paths with pretty much anyone attached to a canine in the area.

And I had two encounters - one with Knoller and one with her husband, Robert Noel - that in hindsight made my blood run cold.

If things had gone just a bit differently, I might have been first.

But this week's news about the reinstatement of Knoller's sentence, brings it all up again.

This time it makes me think about miscarriage of justice ... and how even when the system works - as it has in this case - the victory is bittersweet. Sure, there may be other people protected in the future by laws that are now more stringent. And yes, people may now be more vigilant when it comes to noting that someone has a dog that's dangerous or out of control. But what of the loss? And what of the fact that the perpetrators in this case seemed to have little regards for the fact that they were directly responsible for snuffing out a young, vibrant life?

The background on the story was left out of the post on BB, mostly because it's personal and so not appropriate to share there.

But I feel as though the story merits a closer look.

So here it goes...

A month or so back I was out with some friends. I was in a particularly cantankerous mood (which for anyone who knows me can mean anything from me being somewhat sassy to downright snarky. This particular night fell somewhere towards the middle of that continuum). One of the friends in the posse was in particularly bad state (recent break up and things of that nature). Suffice to say that this was an oil and water sort of situation that for some reason I felt compelled to Twitter.

Bad choice.

The truth of the matter is that it had nothing to do with her. I wasn't up for going out that night but had committed to going, so I went - in spite of feeling crappy. Thus when my friend's behavior got on the 1/8 of a nerve I had, she became a logical target. Well, logical in my not-too-logically-thinking state, at least.

As it read, the Tweet was a direct attack on her. Someone even responded to my Tweet saying: "Wow. Bet you're pretty sure this person doesn't follow you on Twitter." My response was that she did and if she asked me about it, I'd talk with her directly.

This is where my trespass began.

When she emailed me the following Monday - no subject line and a single line in the body of the note saying: "Nice Twitter comment this weekend" - I responded that the Tweet had nothing to do with her.

Which was true, but she didn't believe me. And based on how the Tweet read she was right in believing that - especially since in my response to her I failed to explain what was actually on my mind that night. Not that this would have excused my Tweet, but it would have at least set the record straight.

To make a long story short this friend's feelings were hurt - and rightfully so. And to make matters worse as a result of this communications kerfuffle she pretty much stopped talking to me for a while.

Now there are parts of this story I'm truncating and to be honest I do feel that while her feelings are valid, her reaction to it was slightly north of exaggerated. But that's not the point for this tale.

The point here is that in an attempt to be transparent about what was going on with me, I hurt someone's feelings. And then when she approached me about it rather than stepping up, I stepped away.

Long story short, this friend and I met up for drinks recently, and after an hour or so (and a few beverages to grease the skids of difficult discussion) we got into "the conversation."

That's when she said something surprising. She told me that while I may think that I'm transparent, I'm not.

Shocking.

Seriously.

I mean just looking at the almost ridiculous volume of social media tools that I use on a daily basis one would certainly think that I share a lot ... perhaps even over share on occasion.

But sharing shouldn't be mistaken for transparency and in fact, sometimes just because you're talking doesn't mean you're actually saying anything.

My point?

Simple, really.

For starters, and I said this in my BitchBuzz post today, Etiquette matters. On that I'll point to a recent post by Chris Brogan that I think outlines some rather solid basic etiquette rules that apply to various social media platforms.

But more to the point, I've realized that transparency is relative. What one person sees as appropriate or acceptable to share may be utterly out of the question for another.

In today's always-on-digitally-linked world, paying closer attention to the above mentioned social etiquette becomes even more important. And as we wend our way through being open, sharing our thoughts and telling stories, be mindful that just because you're okay with laying out your dirty laundry for everyone to see, doesn't mean others who might be involved in the story are.

Before you spout off under the umbrella of being authentic and raising your voice, make sure you're not raining crap on someone else.

Pat Gelsinger is on the stage talking about the "Embedded Internet" - the concept of our connectedness as we've never seen it before. He's claiming a move towards 15 billion Internet-connected devices by 2015.

If I were a newbie to the tech realm I might scoff at those numbers. But in light of how quickly technology seems to be moving, perhaps this is a conservative estimate.

Of course there are challenges and barriers - longer life devices, scalability of software, better power solutions, privacy and data security, open standards - but Pat just offered solutions for all of them. Of course.

And now on the stage - an "embedded chopper" ... Yes. A motorcycle. With heavy horsepower engine, along with front and rear cameras, GPS, Wi-Max ... and more.

That's cool, but the embedded internet IP phone they're showing now is SWEET.

MUST HAVE ONE.

Okay, now I'm salivating on my computer. Not good.

Having been to a few IDFs in the past, the thing that catches my attention this year is the sense that while this is still very much a geekfest, the presence of real world implementation of technology - translation: the consumer story - is everywhere. More to the point, they talk about where technology can "take you" ... and it seems to be a literal translation.

From the personal space craft in the lobby, to the motorcycle on the stage and the Linux platform based BMW concept car they just showed, it would seem that the only mode of transport missing is a boat.

The day is young.

I don't know that it was particularly planned, orchestrated or otherwise arranged, but with very little exception I share pretty much everything.

Okay so that's not entirely true ... there are some subjects I've chosen to avoid altogether. There are others I raise only when utterly integral to a given story. But as a rule, the day-to-day, moment-to-moment experience that is my ever-so-mercurial ride through the world of start-ups, Silicon Valley and ... well ... life ... has become an open book.

Friends who've known me a while probably would just say that technology finally caught up to the way that I just ... am. Which, put in perspective, is that it's a pretty rare occasion when you can't tell what I'm feeling at a given moment.

If I'm happy - it's clear.

If I'm sad - it's clear.

And if I'm angry ... well, let's just say most folks don't particularly like me in the state. Frankly neither do I.

But that's not the point of this post.

I realized that unlike some of my blogosphere brethren, I don't have a sidebar on this blog that enumerates the various and sundry ways by which you can find me.

Quel horror.

And so, with a brief interlude at the keyboard, I rectify this trespass with the following selection of social media flavors. (It's not as though finding me on-line is particularly hard. Hell, just Google me and you'll see at least a few pages of accurate connections. Strangely if you remove the space between my names you get some other very interesting items. Like this video I've only just found ... )

But for those not inclined to hunt - and frankly so I have it all in one place - I've created this directory of sorts.

Twitter: cathybrooks
FriendFeed: cathybrooks
Seesmic: cathybrooks
LinkedIn: cathybrooks
Identi.ca: cathybrooks
Yelp: cathybrooks
Flickr: cathybrooks
YouTube: sfloislane
Plurk: cathybrooks
Upcoming: cathybrooks

Whether it's one or more of these, I hope you'll connect, communicate with me and - above all - tell me what you think.

My partner in crime for the session, Amber Scott, and I met only by phone and email prior to our leading the nearly two hour talk on videoblogging - a fact that shocked several of those who stayed afterwards to speak with us.

But should they have been shocked?

I think not.

All one had to do was walk through the lobby of the Westin St. Francis even in the early hours of BlogHer08 as people began to arrive and the energy was palpable. By Friday afternoon the air in the halls of the Westin fairly vibrated with it.

Many a Tweet, blog post and status update (even from the few men who populated the hallways) remarked on the fact that there was a clear and tangible sense that things were happening ... connections being made ... ideas being born ...

I go to a ridiculous number of conferences, events and gatherings during the course of a given year and can state with full certainty that there is no other technology/business related gathering that comes even close to the incredibly powerful sense created at BlogHer.

It was an honor to be part of the proceedings ...

Okay, so maybe I don't suck, but let's just say that math and I are uneasy bedfellows at best.

This is why it's particularly amusing that I seem to have such a penchant for remembering numbers - dates, anniversaries, phone numbers, addresses ...

And today is a big number day.

Here's why ... and I share this story along with posing a question to you ... so take a listen and then chime in!

Think of it like a big room full of people and the room has doors and windows all around it. Each door and window represents a different point of entry to the conversation. For some it might be via Twitter, for others from a social network, it could be from a blog or even from Seesmic itself.

What you see below is the first iteration of our brand new, threaded, standalone player - with built in record/reply functionality. This is a conversation that started on Seesmic ... expanded here to my blog ... and I also dropped it into my MySpace profile.

So check it out ... and if you don't have a Seesmic account already, if you click on reply below you can register and get one! Don't worry, no download necessary :)