Regardless of where you stand, SCOTUS was wrong

January 14, 2010 | Comments (0)

There will be some, no doubt, on the far right leaning side of the spectrum who say that the Supreme Court of the United States did the world a service by squashing the opportunity for televising of the Prop 8 trial currently underway in San Francisco.

While I certainly appreciate that everyone is due their opinion, in this case, I must say those people are just wrong.

Whether on the right or left, the need for transparency and openness in matters of great public interest is critical, and this week SCOTUS had the opportunity to do a great service to the people of this nation - the chance not only to help educate and inform people about the way in which our judicial system works but also the chance to shed light on a matter of great importance to our country.

Today's New York Times ran an Op-Ed on this topic. While those same people who agree with (and even likely influnced) SCOTUS' decision would disagree (and I certainly admit to understanding the NY Time's more left-leaning filter), this Op-Ed speaks the truth.

SCOTUS has shown that while the George W. Bush Administration may no longer be camping in the White House, the remnants of that disaster - like the devastation of Katrina - remain and will plague us for some time to come.

'Tis the Season: Assuaging Holiday Season Stress

December 06, 2009 | Comments (0)

Holiday season is wonderful.

It's also incredibly stressful.

That's why when my friend Alison Leigh Siegel told me about some of the plans she has for the holiday season I felt compelled to write about it.

Alison is an MFT with a background that blends both classically trained therapy techniques with somatic (body-oriented) practice. For the uninitiated who may not know what, precisely, somatic therapy is, here's the gist. For every stressful, anxiety-inducing experience we have in our lives, there is a directly correlated reaction in the body. At a simple level this could manifest as those ever-so-pesky knots so many people have in their neck and shoulders (mine tend to bunch up behind my right scapula). In more intense cases, "holding" stress can result in any number of physical ailments ranging from headaches and digestive issues to heart problems and more.

For the last 20 years Alison has been working with clients (more than 10,000 people across her various modalities of therapy) helping them relax, tune in to their core energy and focus in order to live the kind of life they know they want but may be having a hard time reaching.

By working from the core outward – meaning by getting people grounded in their bodies – Alison helps her clients achieve results in a truly holistic (in the full sense of whole) sense of truth, balance and authenticity. She accomplishes this through three basic methods:

1. Traditional psychotherapy: With solutions both for individuals and couples, Alison's counseling helps address an array of issues, not the least of which may be dealing with family over the holidays.

2. Coaching and skills training: Having worked with top executives from many industries, Alison also has developed a strong practice in basic coaching and skills training for professionals.

3. Bodywork/massage work: Though it would seem mostly a physical solution, Alison's work in this area also can achieve a powerful emotional release. It also just feels great.

What does this have to do with tech stuff?

Well, that's where the conversation with Alison about holiday season caught my truly geeky attention. She's using social media for her work. Of course massage/bodywork requires in person sessions, but for traditional therapy as well as her life/professional coaching, Alison is taking advantage of Skype as a way to deliver powerful therapy solutions for time-crunched individuals - a particularly valuable thing during the already saturated schedule time of holiday season. In the coming weeks she also will be developing her presence on Facebook and leveraging Twitter as well as YouTube to provide ongoing insights, commentary and resources for time-constrained individuals who need to find a way to take that first step towards more balanced emotional health.

When I told her that I wanted to write about this, Alison proffered another little tidbit - a discount! If you're reading this and you decide you want to try it out, or perhaps give a gift to someone who needs it, she's offering a 50 percent discount on her rates through January 1, 2010 to anyone who mentions my name when they book an hour-long session. (She emphasized that the discount isn't just for technology-based therapy, but for all her therapeutic services through the holidays.)

Here's my disclaimer - Alison and I are close, so you may think that biases my perspective. So don't take my word for it, you can read some of her reviews for yourself. She has testimonials on LinkedIn as well as some stellar reviews on Yelp.

Looking forward to 2010, Alison also is starting a school to expand her ability to educate people and support their therapeutic needs. At "The Feel Institute" Alison and a team of skilled professionals will be teaching an array of classes and workshops designed to guide people into deeper, more qualitative communications. Some of the initial classes planned include:

Emotional Skills Training: For social situations or at work (how to be better in relationships with co-workers, boss, etc)

Sensory Awareness: learning how to feel more with your senses (gives you greater sense of pleasure in everything you do)

Sexual Etiquette: So you think you know what to do? Think again. Learn some basics ... and then some.

Be a bitch without bitching: For women to learn the best way to seize their inner fierceness and still feel good about themselves. (I'm teaching the first class!)

Relationship Communications 101: Learning how to talk - and listen - with your partner

So don't let the stress of the holiday get to you. Do something for yourself (or someone you love), loosen up the calendar crush of holidays and roll into the New Year firing on all cylinders.

And if you're a friend of mine, yes a massage for Chrisma-Kwanz-ukah would be lovely, thank you. :)

Navigating that river in Egypt: From denial to understanding and maybe, just maybe, to acceptance

October 19, 2009 | Comments (0)

When I tell people about the coming out conversation I had with my mother 9 years ago, it never fails to elicit a chuckle, usually followed immediately by a somewhat embarrassed, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't mean to laugh."

Thing is, it was funny, and it went like this.

Picture a beachfront apartment building in Boca Raton, FL. My mother and I are lounging quietly in chairs on her terrace overlooking the crystalline blue waves lapping below. It had been almost a year since my father died, and I was growing increasingly pained with the lie of omission that was my failure to come out.

For some background, I was a late bloomer on the whole lesbian thing. My first experience with a woman was in the summer of 1996. The experience freaked me out sufficiently that I found myself dating men and women for a couple of years, trying to figure things out. By 1998 I was sure, and was ready to tell the family.

That's when my father got sick.

At that point the only thing that mattered was focusing on my father's well being. The family pulled together supporting my dad through the ups and downs of his treatment, celebrating the few bright moments of hope for recovery and ultimately dealing with the deterioration of his health and his death in March of 2000.

In any case, in late 2000 I made a trip to Florida to see my mother. One of my objectives on this trip was to tell her I was gay.

We spent several days together - going to the beach, to the mall, to the movies. Every day I looked for an opening, an appropriate moment. Finally came the day we opted to just hang out at the apartment, enjoying the spectacular ocean vista my father had loved so much.

It had been an hour or so of relative silence, and I decided it was time. Taking a deep breath I began, "Mom, I have something to tell you, and it's hard for me to say because I know that it will upset you."

Before I could open my mouth to utter the next sentence, my mother interrupted, "What's the matter?! Are you sick?"

I replied, "No mom, what I..."

She interrupted again, "Did you lose your job?"

I replied again, "No mom, actually I..."

"Is it your apartment?" she interjected, "Do you have to move?"

And so it went for a few more exchanges. Me, trying to get a word in edgewise and she spewing out questions about my job, my apartment, my friends, my car, even my dog and cat.

Finally, this query, "Are you pregnant?"

At last, an opening! "Well ... no." I paused. "You see mom, in order for me to be accidentally pregnant, I'd have to be having sex with men."

I paused. Silence.

That's when I realized that I had my eyes squeezed shut waiting for her response. I opened them slowly, looked at her and saw that she was sitting still, staring blankly out across the ocean.

After what felt like an eternity she spoke, "Well, I don't think any less of you, but I don't think it's true. I don't believe you ... My goodness, that's a very large boat out there, isn't it?"

Yeah, kinda like that.

This almost comical capacity for denial wasn't altogether new to me. My family has never been much for confrontation. That said, I'd just delivered a rather solid piece of life-changing information and it was brushed off.

I chalked it up to the fact that it was probably somewhat overwhelming and figured I'd take another run at the subject another time. I did. I tried quite a few more times over the coming years, and each occasion was met with an increased level of dismissal. Even my attempts to talk about friends who were gay or events that I might attend, for NCLR or EQCA were brushed off and dismissed, often with a "that's nice" and a stark subject change.

So I gave up.

After a somewhat tense family visit in January 2007 I stopped visiting altogether.

I continued speaking to my mother. Phone calls, emails and the occasional Skype vidoe chat kept us in touch, but I had written off spending any physical time with her. It was just too painful.

I would not be the first person to come out whose family had rejected the idea of their being gay. I would not be the first person who chose to divorce themselves of those family ties in order to move forward and lead a productive life.

If only it were that easy. Of course, it isn't.

While I seemed to be fine, the truth was that this rift with my mother was nothing more than a briefly inactive fault line, and as I began increasing my activism for LGBT equal rights, the molten magma underneath began to bubble and the plates began to shift.

In early August 2009 I attempted to participate in Camp Courage/East LA. I say "attempted" because while I made my way to Camp and even got my badge and sat with my group, it was about half way into the first story telling exercise that I came unglued. We were talking about our reasons for being involved in the movement, and as I began talking about my desire to help people tell their truth, I realized that I was failing to tell my own.

Leaving Camp early I pulled the plug on most of my activism. I stopped writing about LGBT issues and stopped participating in activities. However, I was still determined to attend the National Equality March in October.

At least I was planning on it until my mother asked me to come visit.

Hearing her voice I realized that until I spoke with her and at least made one more attempt to get her to "see" me, I couldn't in good faith continue speaking out - and to me a march in Washington was the ultimate of that.

As my fellow activists were getting ready to head for DC, I angled my trajectory to Boca Raton. Thanks to some great counsel from a wonderful woman (a woman who I hope one day to introduce to my mother), I felt prepared, but still nervous. I thought about when I wanted to have the conversation, where to have it, how to start it - so many thoughts racing through my mind.

So imagine my surprise when, on my first morning in Florida while sitting half submerged alongside my mother in her pool, the words just came out of my mouth.

My mother had said something about how nice it was that I was visiting and that I should come more often.

Taking a deep breath, I began. "Mom, I would come more often, but there's a reason I don't come. It's not that I don't love you. It's that it's just too hard ... too painful ... I know you don't like that I'm gay. I know it's not what you want for me, but that's how it is. That's who I am. And when I try to speak with you about my activism or about anything in my life and you dismiss it, it feels as though you are dismissing me. And that hurts."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and so I paused. Before I began again, I heard my mother clear her throat, so I waited. Then she spoke. She spoke of the difficulty she had in seeing me as gay because I don't fit the images she has in her mind of a what a lesbian is "supposed to" look like. She spoke of her concern for my safety and wanting me to be safe. She spoke of many things, but it was what she said at the end that brought it all home: "Cathy, I love you and I just want you to be happy. That is all that matters."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and gave me a big smile.

And then she changed the subject.

Acceptance

September 26, 2009 | Comments (0)

The other day I was walking in Alta Plaza Park and ran into a friend - a dog park friend with whom I've actually socialized in the real world ... even without dogs.

She and I were talking about something I'm experiencing with regards to relationships - the personal kind, the life partner kind.

Quite recently Josie had very serious surgery. After recovery - actually she wasn't even really fully back to speed yet - she found herself on a journey to Bhutan. On that trip she learned many things of their culture, including about love and relationships. So after listening to my story, Josie took a moment and smiled.

This is not, by the way, verbatim or intended to be her words. It's my approximation of the tale. So, while spoken in "her voice", I do not mean to represent these as what she said. With that disclaimer...

She said: In Bhutan, they do not have a word for I. It doesn't exist. Everything is viewed and experienced as an "us" or "we". Life is about the collective experience. As for love, that doesn't translate either. Of course they have the experience of it, but if it were translated into English, the word would be acceptance.

It makes perfect sense, really. After all, who are those we love except the people who know us for who we are (and vise versa) and yet they love us (and vise versa) anyway. When my parents were celebrating their 40th anniversary, I remember quite clearly having conversations with each of my parents asking them that logical question: "So ... what's the secret to a happy, long-lasting marriage?"

Perhaps not so strangely they replied with pretty much the same thing, just said from different views.

My father's take was to think about the other person and list the top 10 things about them that bother you, then forget about all but the very top one - and realize that's not going away either, it just may be the source for arguing on occasion.

My mother's take was a bit more philosophical. She said so long as two people's moral compass pointed to the same True North, you can figure the rest out.

Point is - people don't change. Behaviors can, of course, but who a person is, that's hard wired pretty early on.

I'll avoid any self-indulgent pontificating about the in's and out's of my personal journey in the last several weeks, but suffice to say that in reconnecting with someone very important from my past, I seem to have taken an accelerated crash course in personal growth.

As so often happens in these types of times, it also seems that the lessons and messages are being repeated over and over - and from almost every angle. So I suppose it should not surprise me that this morning, upon turning the page in a lovely book I have called Offerings I was greeted by this quote:

"The act of acceptance, of acknowledging that change is a natural part of our interaction with others, can play a vital role in our relationships. These transitional periods can become pivotal points when true love can begin to mature and flower. We are now in a position to truly begin to know the other. To see the other as a separate individual, with faults and weaknesses perhaps, but a human being like ourselves. It is only at this point that we can make a genuine commitment, a commitment to the growth of another human being - an act of true love.
-- The 14th Dalai Lama

As the weekend wends its way forward, pointing my eyes towards tomorrow night's sunset and Kol Nidre*, the start of the most important day on the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur, I find myself feeling a bit daunted by the challenges ahead, but exhilarated and inspired by the amazing people with whom I'm so blessed to be surrounded.

So to those with whom I've already crossed paths and those who may come to this note long after today's date, I hope in reading this that whatever personal challenges or choices are currently at your fore you find inspiration or perhaps even comfort in the reminder that you're not alone.

*Sadly the YouTube video for this link is disabled for embedding. It's a beautiful recording of Johnny Mathis singing the haunting Kol Nidre prayer. If you've never heard this service, and you haven't clicked on that link already, here it is again (to save you the scrolling ). It's not the typical cantorial chant with choir, but it is lovely.

Women speaking at conferences: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should

August 16, 2009 | Comments (0)

I've been thinking a lot lately about my time at TechTV.

In particular I've been thinking about the quandary we faced early on in finding super smart tech folks ... who could speak on camera.

Why the nostalgia? I'll refrain from belaboring the topic here, but in case you've missed any of the recent debates about women speaking at tech conferences, you can read this post ... this post ... or this one.

Now back to my TechTV reverie ... Keep in mind this was late 90's and just into the early 00's. All these super simple social media platforms that allowed anyone and everyone to work on their camera delivery and speaking, didn't exist. My job at TechTV was all about those people in front of the camera. It began with my handling both the Talent and Guest Booking departments.

Ever try to get a geek to speak English? Ever try to do that in front of a camera? It ain't easy. Generally it was either great TV people with no tech skills or superb tech people who ... well ... let's say their communication skills were rusty.

Then, once you got someone to a passable state in front of the lens, there was the other challenge - figuring out what kind of on-air work they could do. Because just as in the "non tech" world of broadcasting, there are some people who are perfectly suited to anchoring, others to talk show hosting, others to reporting, others to doing panel moderation, and so forth.

(For the record, thanks to lots of research, a bit of luck and some superb talent coaching, we ended up with a rock solid on air crew .)

So it goes with conference speaking. Some people are great at individual talks and keynotes, others are best on panels, some are superb moderating, others best when giving a how to/or workshop type talk. And at the end of the day, some folks just don't belong in public speaking situations.

To be clear, I am also a firm believer that just about anyone can be taught enough baseline technique to become a half way decent presenter. Some pretty remarkable things can be accomplished with the right kind of training (this is where I give a shameless plug for my own story-telling workshops that are designed to help address the common missing link for most folks - the ability to tell their own story) but that's not the point of this.

My point here is simple ... if you suck at something, work at getting better. If after doing all you can to improve, you still are just hobbling by, perhaps you should re-evaluate the specific angle you're taking.

Are you pushing yourself solely for keynotes? Perhaps you should consider being on a panel? Or, better, yet, perhaps you can put together a great panel of people and moderate it yourself? How about workshop or how-to sessions?

Best of all - try them all ... You'll find what works. You'll find what doesn't. If you're lucky you'll have many different types of formats in which you are or become comfortable and can then continue to polish and grow.

Bathing in Silver: Reminders sparked by the moon

February 11, 2009 | Comments (0)

Wednesday night's moon was spectacular.

Perhaps not quite as remarkable as the full moon that rose earlier this week, but pretty damn breathtaking. After the thick and stormy skies parted there he was - the perpetually surprised Man in the Moon glancing down sideways from his waning recline ... as if from under an oversized hoodie.

Funny.

I don't know that I ever thought about this before, but why is it that the "person" in the Moon is a man, when as far as I know the moon is traditionally a symbol of female power and energy.

Hmmm. Interesting thought, but for the purpose of this post not relevant, so moving on ...

I'm blessed with a pretty spectacular view from my apartment. So on nights like this, when the entire cityscape takes on the luminous cast of silver, I make a point of turning out all the lights, cozying my favorite chair right ... up ... to the eastern facing window, and basking in that glow.

I've been in this apartment for a long time and experienced quite a few of these mooncast scenes, but tonight it was different. Perhaps I never experienced such bright moonlight so close to a rain; and so never caught the reflection from the scattered collection of rainwater pools.

In a flash, that wide path of moonlight stretching across the rooftops below, became a glistening silver band across the dark Atlantic. The deep whoosh of cars, their rushing pattern set by the streetlights, began to echo with the rumbling hiss of waves crashing onto the shoreline just below the Boardwalk where I stood with my father.

I was about 10 years old. We had just come back from a long dinner at our favorite Atlantic City (NJ) restaurants, Doc's Oyster House. Often after a big meal, the family would go for a long walk on the Boardwalk. Sometimes we'd walk where the "action" was - the casinos, amusement piers, that sort of thing. Best part of that was that invariably it also meant a trip to Dairy Queen or, even better for some water ice.

But other times we'd head back towards our house, and "walk the Boards" there, which essentially meant a quiet, salt-air-scented stroll with nothing more than the occasional pool of streetlights and whatever moonlight you might get. As much as I love ice cream, this was always my preferred path.

And on night's like tonight, the view was breathtaking. And on a night like tonight we wouldn't have been out there alone. The Boardwalk would have been jammed with people - whether weekday or weeknight - reveling in the fresh air and the view.

When that ridiculously fat, full moon broke above the horizon this week, glowing so enormous and pregnant in the sky it almost seemed perched on the top of the Transamerica Pyramid - not a soul was looking up. In fact, since I was driving, I put the top down on the car, and at every red light I very obviously stared up several times just to see if anyone else would.

No one did.

As I was driving and unable to text, I made a frantic series of (hands-free, of course) phone calls to some friends - two of whom texted back soon thereafter with thanks for having pointed their glance upward.

It's a good thing to remember.

Just because you're focused diligently on your future, and just because you have to pay attention to what's in front of you, don't forget to look up.

Never know what you might see.

Twitter mosaic: A fun tapestry of my friends

February 11, 2009 | Comments (0)

Just caught a Tweet about this ever-so-cool site that allows you to create a mosaic of your Twitter followers and then print it on t-shirts, mugs, bags or business cards.

You also can snare the embed code and put it on your blog.

Like this:

Get your twitter mosaic here.

The community asks - and on 2/5 No on 8 EC members will answer

February 05, 2009 | Comments (1)

It's 1:00am. I'm exhausted. But the energy coming from the emails, blog comments and Twitter messages makes the idea of sleep just now very hard.

In preparation for Thursday afternoon's discussion with No on 8 Executive Committee members Kate Kendell, Geoff Kors and Tawal Panyacosit, I'm grokking tons of data bits in the interest of trying to ensure we cover as much ground as possible.

In addition to the questions below - and with thanks to Jo Hoenninger, acting President of Marriage Equality USA; and Jay Matthew of Erase the H8 in Fresno - I've also been given the raw list of questions that went unanswered during the No on 8 Executive Committee session at last month's Equality Summit in LA. It's an 11-page list that Jo is hoping to clean up, flesh out with a full complement of answers and ultimately post online. In the mean time, I'll be folding in as many of the questions as possible to the Thursday afternoon conversation.

***Some things to know about how things will go on Thursday***

1) CAPTURING THE CONVERSATION: I will be recording (video and audio) of the session. In addition, we will be doing a live video stream of the entire conversation. To access that live stream, which will start at 2:00pm Pacific time on Thursday, February 5, 2009, go to my profile page at Qik.com. The featured video on that page is the current or most recent stream. If you're seeing a video entitled "Final test" then we haven't started quite yet.

2) COMMENTING WITHIN THE CHAT: The live stream site includes a chat room. If you are viewing the stream you have the ability to type in questions. I will monitor that as best possible during the conversation to take any new questions that might arise.

3) COMMENTING BY TWITTER: Please mark any Tweets related to this discussion with #marriageequality. I will monitor the Tweet stream as best possible for any additional questions that arise.

4) WHEN IT'S DONE: When we finish the session I will embed the entire video here. You can feel free to repurpose.

With that, here are the questions that were submitted on this site, at Other Than That and as comments on Facebook.

Comments submitted at EqualityCamp.com

Not sure from whom, precisely, but comment links to the site for LA Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence:
1: To what degree do you suppose the current, long-standing disquiet is being fed by the perception that the people of EQCA (who, we were told, 'did their best') have resisted accountability for their best not being good enough? That is: had any of you come forward with a sincere, unqualified mea culpa immediately, taken your lumps (even if undeserved) might we have been willing to 'move forward' with EQCA?

2: What changes have been made to EQCA, to board membership or to policy? Given the current perception, (that EQCA has neither learned or changed) why should EQCA still be considered a viable organization?

Richard (aka Willingthrall) asks:
Do you think No-on-8 would have benefited from pointing out that the Netherlands has had same-sex marriages for some time with no ill effects on the social fabric. Or would the right-wingers have decided to nitpick something about Dutch society?

Comments submitted at OtherThanThat.com

Jennifer Rinkenberger - Central Valley Regional Director (co-) for Yes! On Equality (aka Progressive Mama Blogger) asks:
The No On 8 campaign made a deliberate and public decision to ignore the Central Valley. Taking David Binder's recent report at face value, and understanding that demographics of Valley voters closely resemble the movable 6-7% of the electorate. What plans do you have to reach out to the Central Valley LGBT community? Many activists wrongly attacked the African-American community in the wake of Prop 8's passage. Those attacks brought some long seated resentment between LGBT people of color and white LGBT people, issues that obviously need to be addressed, to the surface.

However, I am concerned that the guilt regarding the initial reactions attacking people of color is going to translate into a campaign strategy that continues to ignore the geographic majority of the state -- the Central Valley. The Prop 8 campaign was run on the premise that if the Coastal counties could be carried the rest of the state could be ignored. Is the new campaign going to be to focus on communities of color in the Coastal counties...so that the rest of the state can continue to be ignored?

What plans have you for paid staff and an office of operations in the Central Valley?

What plans have you for including members of the Valley on your Executive Committees and boards?

What steps have you taken to diversify the people who make decisions for your organizations, beyond ensuring that all ethnicities and sexual identities are represented?

The Binder report says that voters that are influenced by discussions with LGBT people were more likely to vote no on 8, whereas voters influenced by religion were more likely to vote yes. It seems to me that talking to people of faith, in the language of faith, is something we need to do as a major component of any future campaign. What plans does EQCA have to work with groups like the California Council of Churches, who have developed a curriculum for discussing same-sex marriage from the faith perspective? The Binder report also suggests that gay and lesbian people and families are not effective messengers for marriage equality, at least on t.v. -- which is where most people get their messaging.

One of the major criticisms of the No On 8 campaign was the lack of LGBT family presence. Assuming we take the Binder report at face value and cede that we are not our best spokespeople -- has there been any consideration to reaching out to a handful of straight allies/clergy to serve as spokespeople in future campaigns and PSA's in an offensive/preemptive ad campaign, so that we can frame the issue and debate instead of being so reactionary?

If the Supreme Court fails to overturn Prop 8 and Yes! On Equality succeeds in getting marriage equality back on the ballot in 2010, we're going to be running a campaign during a midterm election, a cycle that is far more likely to attract older, whiter, conservative voters, than younger ones.

What do you think the priorities of such a campaign should be? Focusing energy and resources on trying to draw out younger voters, or tailoring a message that chips away at the stranglehold that some religious communities have on their members and hoping that some of that message trickles down to youth and other democratic minorities?

Catalina Ruiz-Healy - San Francisco
I would like to know why the gamble was made on "there are more of us than them", which is my understanding of what the strategy was. You need to pick a strategy, and that's cool. And one makes the wrong call sometimes. But I would like to better understand what data they used, knowing that Obama was going to be on the ticket and how this would affect turnout.

Also, I feel like there was absolutely NO reach out to straight women, Latinas, or anyone else who could have helped bridge the "them" divide. Calls were made only to perceived "friendlies" and I understand having to focus, but there was no reason surrogates couldn't be sent to churches, CBOs and other places to at least help frame the issue and start a discussion at home.

Jason Scott – Marriage Equality USA/Gay Fresno - Fresno
Why were calls for ANY money or ANY staff to be sent to Fresno (or anywhere in the central valley for that matter) completely unanswered. We were told we should drive up to San Francisco or down to Los Angeles to help out with the "offical" campaign. Why were our super volunteers offered paid work in San Francisco and taken away from our area.

We were bombarded with emails to send money to the campaign, but why was no support coming back to us?

In the interest in moving past this, will the leadership here today agree that this will never happen again? Apologies were made for many mistakes, but never for this one. We'd like to move past it, but even after election day, Lorri Jean from the campaign stated that "Focusing on the areas with the most votes" was done and was done "rightfully so". (Quote taken at 42:42 minutes in the Prop 8 Town Hall audio.)

Mariva – San Francisco Bay Area
1. Many people with political organizing and campaign experience tried to help with the No on 8 campaign on an organizational and strategic level, and yet there was no avenue for them to have a dialog with you. Why didn't you take feedback and suggestions from the LGBT and/or political organizing community? Why did you rely solely on the "wisdom" of focus groups, which proved to be deeply flawed?

2. Why wasn't there an immediate effort to launch a competing initiative, one with a similar description to Prop. 8 (e.g., "Protect Marriage") but with the exact opposite language therein? This worked very effectively with Prop. 99 against Prop. 98 (the so-called "eminent domain"/repeal rent control initiative). This tactic -- one among many -- was an obvious tenet of California Initiative Strategy 101, but no one seemed to think of it. Why didn't the No on 8 campaign work with experts with this type of ballot initiative experience and savvy?

3. On November 4, 2008, there was a No on 8 campaign visibility effort, but absolutely no GOTV effort. GOTV is one of the most important parts of a campaign -- and it should be taken care of *before* committing any volunteers to campaign visibility. The turnout in San Francisco was appallingly low. Why didn't the No on 8 campaign have volunteers dragging voters out of their homes to get them to the polls within 96 hours of Election Day?

Deirdre Saoirse Moen
I just want to say: thanks to everyone working for equality for LGBTs. I don't have any questions, but just wanted to offer warm fuzzy support.

I'd also like to point out my husband's article that points out that there are even apparent straight couples affected by prop 8, and not to ignore them: Right now, they're probably very in the closet, and if they know, they're probably very hurt.

Heather
Our community didn't reach out very well to religious institutions and ethnicities among others, nor did we refute in any way many flat-out lies. What sorts of things can we do besides a vague "talk to people" to try and change this? (e.g. make materials about this to hand out for people to read, go door to door in our neighborhoods and talk with everyone, explain why allowing gay marriage doesn't infringe on rights, use science studies to show that being gay is not a "lifestyle choice", etc...)

Jere Keyes
With so much community focus on the shortcomings of the campaign, are there any decisions that you continue to stand behind even if they are unpopular with LGBT people? What things were absolutely done right and should be done again in future elections?

Lisa Lindsay
What was with not being trained to talk to actual people when going door-to-door? Was this because I'm in the Central Valley where there were no resources (i.e. no paid staff who might do training on how to do a face-to-face conversation) or did we really people doing the work of a postage stamp everywhere?

What research was done to indicate not showing the face of real gay people in a commercial was going I be what "wins"? What research was done to indicate where money/resources should be spent? What will be done differently? What are the mistakes that won't be repeated?

Do you have any (expletive deleted) idea how it feels to live in a town where their are signs opposing your marriage being handed out every Sunday, and then to have friends who want to show support for your side (so much so that they'll pay the $10) to the not even be able to find the one god damn office that has signs?

Sonnie
Looking backwards, I am one of the ones who was angry and frustrated with the campaign. The deliberate decision to exclude 18,000 real live same-sex couples who legally and joyfully married during the available window was hurtful. I believe there should have been a parade of these people, their friends and family members. It was no less than internalized homophobia disguised as "political strategy" to take this action. We cannot live in fear. We must demonstrate that our lives are all about love.

One thing I also must say: I attended the Equality Summit, starting the day angry; but as things continued, even though my anger continued, I have to give credit to the members of the No on 8 Executive Committee for their willingness to sit in front of a large group of frustrated and furious people in the way they did. We need to move forward.

Comments from Facebook

Marivi Lerdo de Tejada – San Francisco
I think it is important, no, critical, to understand what mistakes were made so we can move forward with the campaign. But I'm not sure conducting a witch hunt is helfpul. Silicon Valley is full of *very* successful people who had equally spectacular failures, precisely because you learn more from your failures than from your success. Can we focus on the strategic and tactical mistakes and use them to chart a better course instead of looking for scapegoats?

Michael Mullin
Voting No on 8 could have been a vote for the status quo/ no change... which in our world seems (often sadly) to be a pretty easy sell. Learning from loss makes sense. Finding blame within the gay marriage proponents world seems like a divisive energy drain. Infighting makes the left relatively effete. We could be identifying common denominators among fellow Obama supporters, lending our support and building energy with them for shared causes. Right now it feels like the larger conversation is still located in a Republican context despite the opportunity to shift reference points to a Democratic one. When manipulating policy through fear and ignorance becomes marginal then those players will be motivated to become part of the change. As we move into a new paradigm Prop 8 will look more and more outlandish and ultimately, naturally be overturned.

Katherine Keon
Not too original however a constant in my mind...how to effectively organize is a big one here...often reiterated as the down fall to the last go and spoken about as the key to the next round however how to do it better must be understood in relation to the issue. I think it is critical to discover / develop, and I think it is both, a method of organizing that is unique to the issue. i think that we can learn truck loads from the obama organizing drive and the successful technicalities to that process AND i think we need to think about the issue itself and the way in which it is held in society, how gays are held in society at this juncture in time and organize based on what is there.

--- Cathy

What would YOU ask: A Q&A Session with some of the No on 8 Exec. Committee

February 02, 2009 | Comments (18)

NOTE: In the interest of best aggregating all the input, comments on this post are now closed. The next post which will outline the bulk of the questions and themes people have proffered will be open for further discussion.

In addition - you can tune in online to the live stream of the conversation on Thursday, 2/5. Chat will be enabled for this stream so you can ask questions during the interview as well.

Regardless of the camp in which you sit, consensus pretty much confirms - the No on 8 campaign had problems ... lots of them.

For starters, we lost.

Actually the "starters" lay within the snarled set of issues - call them mistakes, errors, miscommunications, snafus, misfires it doesn't really matter - that led to the way in which this (not-such) comedy of errors played out. For the record, I fall somewhere just off center on this. I'm pissed at how things turned out. Who wouldn't be? (Well, except for those who won, of course.) There were many points along the way where I saw plenty of things not going the right way. There were points along the way where, through conversations with others who were more deeply engaged than I, it was clear that the campaign was in trouble.

Many people - both those who continue to speak out as well as others who at this point are silent in shades of disgust - want a public accounting by the No on 8 Executive Committee on what happened - accepting responsibility, identifying mistakes ... that sort of thing. There have been posts calling out the members (once they were identified), demanding apologies and clamoring for answers. The dissenting voices, whose deeply persistent murmur rose to a particularly explosive cadence during last months' EqualitySummit, call for a public forum.

While I do not disagree that such a thing *should* happen, I'm concerned that the reality of it is slim to none and that a lot of time may be wasted in trying to make it take place. As I understand it there are "a few" members of the EC who have already flat out refused doing such a public thing - whether a live forum or a public statement. (Personally, I'd like to know who those people are so that we can remove them from the process moving forward. Anyone who cannot take accountability has no business leading ... but that is an issue for another post...).

So, I've been trying to think of ways to at least begin to mitigate this deep anger while trying to stay productive and forward looking at the same time. Participation in Equality Summit and Courage Campaign's Camp Courage went a long way towards that end. In the time since then, I've witnessed an incredible array of coalition building, team efforts underway and a wonderful sense that this community may well pull itself together in a unified effort.

But people are still upset. So what to do about that?

With that, I have taken it upon myself to attempt something this coming Thursday, February 5.

At 2:00pm Pacific this Thursday, 2/5 I am going to be sitting down with Kate Kendell, Geoff Kors and Tawal Panyacosit - three members of the No on 8 EC. It's *possible* that one or two other EC members might attend as well, but I have confirmed these three.

The entirety of this conversation will be on a live stream and I'll also have my various social network platforms open and fired up with the intention of giving as many people as wish to participate at least some open forum in which to talk with at least some of the EC members.

In the interest of trying to put at least a bit of structure around the questions (not to edit, but to manage what I'm hoping will be a lot of input!) I'm hoping to solicit as many questions as possible in the next 24 hours. My plan will then be to put those question up on a live poll and have people vote on those questions with the intention of asking as many of them as possible in the order that people have indicated is important to them ...

My intention here is really to try and foster some sort of facilitated dialogue that can be productive. I may fail, but I feel that I must try.

One person to whom I reached out already has said that short of a complete and public (e.g. an in person Town Hall type) hearing they have no interest in helping spread the word about this Thursday's discussion. If this is your perspective as well, I wholly appreciate and respect that.

If, however, you feel that having at least this virtual public gathering can help serve to forward the idea of gaining some more public closure (which was started at EqualitySummit), I would truly appreciate your help.

And doing so is very simple:

1) Please spread the word. Your assistance in forwarding the link to this can only mean more people have a chance to speak up.

2) Submit a comment here. The comments will close at 9:00am Pacific time on Wednesday, February 4. PLEASE MAKE SURE AND LEAVE ME A REAL EMAIL ADDRESS so that I can contact you for step 3.

3) I will aggregate the questions from here (as well as from the the EqualityCamp site and Facebook - where I've also posted this) and then will publish a public poll. That poll will be open from 9am pacific time on Wednesday 2/4 through 12:00pm Pacific time on Thursday, February 5.

I'll post a note and contact everyone who's submitted questions with a link to the live stream for Thursday and hope you'll not only forward that link liberally but also can take the time to participate.

Will this resolve the concern and angst in the community, that would be an awfully lofty goal. If that can be accomplished, great. That pragmatic voice in my head says that this is really only a start, but in taking a step, hopefully we can all begin to truly move forward.

EqualitySummit: Research Study from David Binder on Proposition 8 Campaign

January 24, 2009 | Comments (0)

Here I sit, alongside two of my fellow EqualityCamp organizers (for the record, that would be Heather Gold and Adina Levin, sadly for various reasons Hillary Hartley and Tara Hunt were unable to hop the caravan.) at EqualitySummit in LA.

Today's opening session is a collection of voices from the 2008 election cycle and the (now notorious) efforts executed (or not, as some say) for the No on 8 campaign.

But I'm a rather lousy live-blogger, so won't attempt to encapsulate the session now, rather I wanted to proffer a tidbit from one of the press releases they gave me ... It's about a research report from David Binder Research. He'll be speaking a bit later, and I'm hoping to snare a few minutes on video with him, but in advance of that here's a tidbit:

The headline reads: "Prop 8 Study Reveals Conversations with Friends, Family, Co-workers, Most Influential in Driving 'NO' vote."

Gosh there's a shocker.

You mean actually meeting and getting to know real people and hearing real stories may have impact in winning hearts and minds? Sorry if I sound a bit bitter, but isn't that precisely what any good effort towards social change endeavors to accomplish?

Okay, so how about this next tidbit that came in the sub-headline of the release:

"Study finds 73% of people who voted for Prop. 8 said nothing could've changed their vote."

This, also, doesn't really surprise me ... what surprised me is that the release buried a point that I think matters more... On the second page of the release, in the second to last paragraph is this:

"Only about 15% of yes on 8 voters could name something tangible that could cause them to change their mind and support same sex marriage, including:
- Call marriage by another name
- Ensure marriage for same-sex couples will not be taught in schools
- Ensure churches will not be forced to perform same sex marriages
- Approval, or lack of formal opposition, from churches or religious leaders"

This says two things to me:

1) It reconfirms my belief that while focusing efforts on changing those minds is a waste of energy, that does not mean we should not endeavor to engage with that community ... This is pretty much my take away after the ever-so-educational interaction with The Rev. Chauncey Killens at EqualityCamp.

2) There are points outlined above that may be worth at least considering, if for no other reason than at least understanding what kind of middle ground might be acceptable. I'm not suggesting we acquiesce, but I do believe that within our strength we need to avoid stridency and strive to find middle ground.

Sometimes it doesn't take many words: A Twitter-esque occasion

January 23, 2009 | Comments (0)

On Wednesday morning I hopped into the car with Truman and pointed my way southbound on US-101 headed for Los Angeles.

A couple of hours into the journey, I approached one of those signs heralding my impending entry to a town. The kelly green sign loomed large:

Chualar, CA
Population 1,440. Elevation 110' (above sea level).

1,440.

Weird.

There are more people than that following me on Twitter.

Part of me feels as though that last sentence should be where I end this post, and perhaps it is. (By all means feel free to chime in and comment on that - and anything else for that matter .) The part of me compelled to continue (which of course is the part that oftentimes wins) has one point to make:

In recent weeks it has become abundantly clear I have quite a lot for which to be thankful. Some deeply irksome matters (largely personal in nature) rendered the tail end of '08 ... Well, let's just say the tail may have wagged the dog a few times. But as that proverbial calendar page flipped and I had to get used to writing a new last digit for the year in my journal, a remarkable shift has taken place. And one reason I've been able to muscle through this tectonic exercise, is social media - both the tools/platforms and the people who make and use them.

Okay so maybe that's more like two reasons. But you get the idea.

Glenn Close, personal space and a walk down Sutter Street

January 17, 2009 | Comments (0)

I met Glenn Close on Wednesday.

Well, "met" may be a slight exaggeration.

There was no handshake or "Nice to meet you Glenn, I'm Cathy," sort of exchange. But we did walk an entire city block and cross two intersections together; and if I were measuring my encounter with her by the terms of social networks and Web 2.0 technologies, she and I are practically best friends now.

Of course that's ridiculous, but the experience did make me rethink just what it means to balance personal space with being part of this always connected world in which we live.

It began when I spotted her standing at the corner of Stockton and Sutter streets (the southeast corner in front of the Starbucks, to be specific). It was just before 9:30am and I was heading for Sears Fine Food and Jeff Pulver's Social Media Jungle breakfast.

The previous night I watched the season two premiere of Damages, the F/X series that Ms. Close kicked off last year. Her character, Patty Hewes, is a vicious litigator whose threadbare ethics seem wrapped around a deeply moral core. She may play dirty, but in the end it appears that all she really wants is justice. Or she's pathologically evil. You're never really sure, and that's part of the intrigue.

I love this show and have talked about this character often - and there she was. Well, there was the woman who plays the role that I enjoy so much. It felt a perfect opportunity to thank this wonderful actress for her work.

But I didn't.

In fact, I stood on the corner next to her and didn't say a word. Not then and not as we walked down the block. For the uninitiated, I'm not exactly the most shy retiring sort, so one might ask how it's possible that I could have walked the entire length of Union Square just about arm's length from one of my favorite actresses of all times and not speak to her?

Simple.

She didn't look like she wanted to talk with anyone. From the moment I noticed her, she had about as inward facing body language as you can imagine. She cast her eyes around a bit, but for the most part kept her gaze fixed slightly down and in front.

Even her physical stance seemed muted. When the light changed and we stepped from the curb, she did so gingerly and seemed to be moving in the manner of someone just off a physical injury of some sort – a stark contradiction to the powerful strides of Patty Hewes.

Whether her insular focus was due to not feeling well, having a bad day or perhaps just not having had her morning coffee was irrelevant. She just seemed like she didn't want to be interrupted. So I left her alone.

My pace was slightly faster so I reached the next intersection about 20 steps ahead. As I stood there a nattily dressed fellow in a splendid pair of boots walked up. I complimented his attire, we chatted a moment and as we finished, Ms. Close reached the corner standing next to me.

With the light about to change, I began to turn towards the intersection myself, and that's when it happened. Another passer-by caught sight of Ms. Close on the corner. And after uttering a squeal of delight this woman fairly leapt to the curbside next to Ms. Close, grabbed her arm and chortled, "Oh my GOD, I just LOVE your work. You are just DIVINE, and ..."

My glance shot immediately to Ms. Close to see her reaction and watched as her initial wide-eyed surprise (tinged with fear, I think) melted quickly into a most gracious countenance, albeit with a slightly frozen smile.

An eternity passed, the light changed and with a quick thank you, Ms. Close gently extricated her arm from the woman's grasp and stepped into Powell Street. Matching her stride, I found myself shoulder to shoulder (well, not quite, as she's quite a bit more petite than I had thought), crossing the street. Without turning to her directly, and keeping my voice in a low, modulated tone (appropriate for the close proximity with which we stood) I took a deep breath and spoke to her.

"Of course, I recognized you a block or so back, but you really seemed to be having a personal moment and I didn't want to interrupt."

I paused and watched for a reaction. Ms. Close did a double take and I found myself on the receiving end of a deeply genuine smile and the unmistakable blue sparkle from behind her sunglasses. I felt the door was still open, so I continued: "I've been a fan of your work for some time, and love so many of the characters you've played, but that Patty Hewes, she's just deliciously duplicitous. I adore her."

Then I grinned.

By this point we had reached the other side of Powell and Ms. Close had stopped next to me as I finished. She nodded at my description of the character, said thank you and met my grin. Then she gave my arm a squeeze, leveled a slightly more serious smile my way, paused and repeated: "Thank you." Then she walked into the Walgreens and I continued to Jeff's breakfast.

The whole thing took less than a couple of minutes to transpire, and yet it sat with me throughout the morning and into the afternoon. What was it about this that was niggling on my brain so much? And more to the point that you may be wondering right about now: What on earth does this have to do with technology?

Both good questions, and there's a common answer.

It used to be that famous people - whether actors, politicians, business people or any other ilk - were deemed more important if for no other reason than they had the ability to gain the attention of a large audience. The American culture still puts a great degree (too much if you ask me) of importance on fame, but the truth is that today's hyper-connectivity puts more and more people into a position more like that of Ms. Close than ever before.

We have truly Internet famous people who are in effect a collective MiniMe for real celebrities (think those whose Twitter followers lay in the tends of thousands). Out in the "real" world, these folks are relatively unknowns (most of them) but in our little echo chamber they are celebrities. And then thanks to social media, regular old folks like you and me are watched, or in geek vernacular "followed" every day. The number of people watching may be exponentially smaller for the average person, but the nature of that watching is no less intense.

In some cases the watchful eyes are familiar, but quite often those eyes belong to strangers ... strangers to whom we've granted an open door to our lives - or at least part of them. Suddenly there are people who feel (accurately or not) they know who you are, because they have constant access to "how" you are (or at least to what you're doing at any given moment).

This means that on some level each and every one of us can appreciate or understand that even in a world that's always connected, every person deserves an opportunity to unplug. And sometimes that opportunity doesn't come at a far-flung spa but walking down a moderately populated city street.

My lesson from this experience is that even though we may choose to splay much of our lives onto platforms where many people can see, hear and share with us, that does not - or at least should not - preclude the very basic social practices taught before you were judged by how many email addresses you have.

In as much as we stride forward using these technologies, embracing them and all the sticky, complex connectivity that result we cannot forget that in order to inhabit our own individual space, we need to be mindful of the fact that others need their space too.

EqualityCamp: Make a New Year's Resolution for Civil Rights

December 23, 2008 | Comments (0)

I was at the gym today, overcompensating for some holiday overindulgence, when I ran into a dear friend and fellow gym rat. As the two of us embarked on our hour of elliptical torture, I glanced over to see what she was reading.

It was a copy of The Advocate. And the cover, which I had seen before, screamed out: "Gay is the New Black."

A stark statement, perhaps, but as time has moved away from the November 4 election and the passage of Proposition 8, the bitter sadness and disappointment of loss has given rise to a powerful new wave of the civil rights movement.

It's being powered *heavily* by Web 2.0, and on January 3, 2009 we take another step down that digital path.

On that day, the inaugural outing of EqualityCamp takes place in San Francisco. It's a "BarCamp" style event that will bring together netroots, grassroots, and technologists to help coordinate efforts to repeal Prop 8 and support marriage equality. (Note that if you don't fit into one of those previous categories that *doesn't* mean you shouldn't come!)

Put even more simply - it's time to "Obamafy" the efforts for marriage equality.

If you're convinced and don't need to read any further - here's the link to register.

No?

Okay.

How about this ...

There are myriad groups and individuals throwing their efforts into this challenge and EqualityCamp - being organized by myself, Tara Hunt, Heather Gold, Adina Levin, Hillary Hartley and supported in part by the Courage Campaign - will be a critical step in that process. Because it does precisely what was not done during the "No on 8" campaign - namely taking full advantage of the opportunities for grassroots organizing using technology.

The last six weeks have been rife with amazing efforts - like the nationwide Join the Impact rallies, which drew hundreds of thousands of people to the streets in cities across the entire nation on one day. (It merits mentioning that Amy Balliett, the 26-year-old woman in Seattle who was responsible almost single-handedly for galvanizing that day, will be at EqualityCamp!).

In short - so far so good. But there's much left to do, and the opportunities ahead are plentiful.

To give you an idea, here are a few themes and topics you'll find at EqualityCamp:

connecting "netroots" and traditional organizing
- using "Web 2.0" tools to support a grassroots movement
- taking effective practices from the Obama campaign and using them in - the movement for marriage equality
- how to best use digital video to share stories and build support

The logistics for the day are:

Date: January 3, 2009
Location: CitizenSpace, 425 2nd Street, Ste 300, San Francisco
Time: 10:00am - 6:00pm

For more information: http://equalitycamp.com/

Registration: http://equalitycamp.eventbrite.com/

If you cannot make it to San Francisco for January 3rd, visit EqualityCamp.com to learn how to make your own!

We are dedicated to making a people-powered marriage equality movement work from the bottom up. So please, if you are in town and are able, join us. And spread the word!! We are hoping to outgrow our space and already have larger back-up locations lined-up.

That's a problem I'd love to have ... so how about contributing to that problem for me!

Inspiration at 37,000 Feet

December 13, 2008 | Comments (2)

Her name is Delia Gottlieb.

As I sat typing these thoughts last Friday, whooshing along at a comfortable 521 mph while 37,000 feet over the Atlantic, Delia was settled in a few rows ahead alternating between quick naps and reading a book by Bruce Chatwin that she brought on board (along with at least one newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, I think) for the flight back to the US from Paris.

I know a little about her. I know she's 89 years old and originally from New York. I know she has several children (four), a passel of grandchildren (seven) and sprinkling of great grandchildren (three). But in the brief conversation we shared at the airport, and a more extended chat during which I knelt in the aisle by her seat, Delia shared many words of wisdom - some of which resonate still in my heart several days later.

Actually the words she uttered weren't hers. She was relating a story, and the words she shared were from someone she knew - Eleanor Roosevelt.

Yes, that Eleanor Roosevelt.

Delia was a young girl at the time. Her father was involved in government dealings, and so the phone would ring at her house with the President or First Lady on the line. (For the record I don't know precisely what her father did, we didn't get to that part.) This phrase, said to Delia by one of the most oft-quoted First Ladies in American history, went like this ...

"Hello dear, are you ready to serve?"

Are you ready to serve?

What a question.

It's not the clarion call of Kennedy's famous inaugural speech challenge, but can you imagine picking up the phone and hearing someone of the likes of Eleanor Roosevelt asking if you're ready to suit up and get involved? Can you imagine answering that query with anything less than a hearty YES!?

Even standing by the coffee machine in the airport lounge at Charles de Gaulle airport (which, btw, made superb espresso), a slight ripple tickled the follicles at the base of my neck. Because, I realized that I am, indeed, ready.

I've written before about my status as a newly hatched activist, and certainly have been more engaged politically in the last month than ever before in my life. But a steady drumbeat of lessons set a strong rhythm last week in Paris - a syncopated pattern expanding and expanding in my head, rife with the roll of timpani and rat-a-tat-tat of snare drum.

Dinner with Paulo Coelho on the night of my arrival, (an experience that carried its own set of life lessons) set the foundation. The next night I attended the Every Human Has Rights media award ceremony, celebrating the journalistic triumphs achieved by powerful story-tellers from around the world. And of course December 10 marked the 60th Anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

A document shepherded in part and signed by ... Eleanor Roosevelt.

Which brings me back to Delia.

She and her companion, Max, were in Paris to attend the Global Zero conference and as we stood musing on pain au chocolat and coffee, she fixed me with a crisp yet deeply warm, blue gaze and said in a voice tinged ever-so-slightly with the tones of New York:

"It's a mess - a real mess. (The world) is in big trouble, kid - big trouble; and we have to do something about it."

Are you ready to serve?

The more one reads the paper, watches television or dips into the flood-level rushing information waters of the Internet, it would seem that our situation already has passed the point of no return.

But it has not. And today, unlike any other time in our history, we - and by "we" I mean folks who don't necessarily flit in high-end Beltway circles, have the opportunity to the mountain tops of Davos or Sun Valley - actually can do something. We need not sit idly by, waiting for government officials or well-heeled philanthropists to set the course.

Are you ready to serve?

Of course it would be nice to be one of those who can dedicate their entire life to addressing the world's issues. But this isn't a luxury most people can afford, so here is my clarion call to you.

Pick an issue - any issue - something that matters to you. Whether it's providing clean water to tribal cultures in Africa, addressing political issues in war torn countries, or something more simple and local to you like the plight of local homeless or mentoring underserved children or even getting that pot hole filled on your street - get involved.

And by get involved, I don't mean open your wallet. Sure, any such cause likely needs money, and I'm sure they won't turn your checks away. But I'm talking about rolling up your sleeves because what they also need is help. Take the time, even if it's just a couple of hours a month, and do something - anything.

I feel as though I returned to the US prepared to ratchet things up a hefty notch or two.

First stop - marriage equality - and I'll ride that train as long as it takes to reach the final destination. And then, I'll check the schedules and pick the route for the next journey.

What about you?

Are you ready to serve?

Nothing by Chance: A Tale of Serendipity from LeWeb 2008

December 13, 2008 | Comments (1)

If you're one of those people who believe nothing happens by chance, then you should keep reading.

On Tuesday afternoon at LeWeb I was scheduled to interview one of my literary heroes, Paulo Coelho. To be more precise it wasn't going to be an interview so much as a free-form discussion in which we would touch on a series of topics and allow others to join in if they chose.

That discussion didn't happen. Again in the interest of precision here's the gist. Paulo and I did sit on the LeWeb stage together, but we didn't talk. At least I didn't. Because about 15 minutes before Paulo stepped onto the stage with me I lost my voice.

And when I say "lost", I mean it was as though nanoscale gremlins had been dispatched to my esophagus where they constructed an impenetrable barricade around my vocal cords - nothing was getting through. And I mean nothing.

I'll dispense with further description of the session and instead point you to this video to see for yourself.

Free video chat by Ustream

Losing one's voice at a conference isn't an altogether unusual experience. It's happened to me before, but generally it transpires after several days of non-stop talking, late night schmoozing, not enough sleep and all that. This time around no such activities preceded the vocal cessation. In fact there was no harbinger whatsoever.

Upon arriving in Paris the Friday night before the conference was to begin, Paulo and I had dinner and spoke at length - mostly about life and life experience, but also about our impending session. Though nervous in advance of our meeting, my butterflies evaporated as we chatted over sushi and sake.

During the weekend, interspersed with perusing Paris in the company of my niece Danielle, I spent time brushing up on various and sundry content bits (including polishing off one of Paulo's books, The Witch of Portobello, and diving immediately into another, Brida.).

I got lots of rest, managed to pull myself back from the cold from which I'd suffered for several days and I was ready.

And then - WHACK!

Now some might say, "Look Cathy, you had been sick. This was probably nothing more than an uprising of bacterial beasties that had already taken up residence in your body."

This might be true, but someone posited another theory that, frankly, holds more water with me.

The suggestion first came from Anina, and later another conference-goer reiterated it calling it "The Coelho Effect." What this means is simple: losing one's voice taken in a metaphysical sense could represent a loss of words, or in my case, holding back on a conversation that I need to have ... and that I've been avoiding.

While I was ready for the interview and had quelled my nerves over talking with Paulo on stage, the specter of several very important conversations (family-related) hanging over my head trumped all preparation. And since the nature of at least part of the discussion on stage with Paulo was related to communications and transparency, it made perfect sense that my voice opted out at that moment.

The next logical question, of course, is what could possibly be so all consuming that it would have such impact.

But for several reasons I can't go there right now.

First off, I think writing about them now would both be passive-aggressive (better to address the issues directly with the relevant parties first). Secondly, I don't think the situations themselves are all that important. It's the way in which they are resolved and the lessons that emerge after that will matter. Finally, while some might think "Come on Cathy, just say it. This is your blog, after all. You can talk about your feelings if you want." But I'm not interested in gratuitous pontificating that doesn't answer the "so what?" question.

And in reviewing this post right now I ponder whether the above paragraph itself might come across as making an excuse ... and perhaps some of you reading this will think that.

But those of you who believe that all things happen for a reason should understand where I'm coming from ... and hopefully you'll check back to hear how things go.

Universal Declaration of Human Rights: An Anniversary With Fitting Parallel

December 10, 2008 | Comments (0)

The date was December 10, 1948. The place was Paris, France. Some of the world's most influential leaders and top diplomats gathered to sign the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

It is an interesting parallel that today marks another step in the steady march of the marriage equality movement. "Calling in Gay" was planned to coincide with International Human Rights Day. Some people might balk a bit at comparing the civil rights effort for marriage equality to the literal life and death struggle for human rights being waged in so many parts of the world. To be clear, I am not equating them directly, but the concept of basic civil liberties for all people very much relates to the issue.

And today as I see the Tweets, blog posts and Facebook comments about this latest activist effort for marriage equality, I muse that while we've come quite far in the last 60 years, it's rather remarkable that we still have so far to go.

That's the bad news.

But there is good news.

In this era of compressed time and accelerated life experience, we have the power to learn from the past and change things now - and that's precisely what is happening.

On November 15, hundreds of thousands of people across the United States took to the streets - a massive turnout inspired by the efforts of one woman in Seattle. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. An army of activists, galvanized by the travesty of Proposition 8's passage in California on November 4, have engaged.

And much of these efforts are gaining speed and power thanks to technology. It's a new generation of activism. From Facebook groups and Twitter accounts to web campaigns waged by "real world" organizations, like the Courage Campaign, the movement is gaining steam.

No. Scratch that. It's not just gaining steam - it's taking more solid form, and interestingly, technology is part of that too. While social media platforms are enabling all of these newly hatched activists to communicate, connect and mobilize, there are now some people leveraging technology practices like BarCamp to further strengthen the infrastructure of the movement itself.

One such effort is called EqualityCamp. Born from a conversation that took place on an Internet radio show hosted by the sassy and smart Heather Gold, EqualityCamp endeavors to "make a people-powered equality movement work."

(Disclosure: I participated in the show, and am part of the posse organizing the event.)

The premise is simple - the marriage equality movement is marvelous, but it has some real and potentially critical challenges to overcome. At the risk of oversimplifying what is a rather complicated issue, the simple fact is that the old school, top down methods of political activism, just don't work like they used to. In fact, in the case of No on 8, the effort proved to be a failure.

On the other hand, wholly grassroots, viral efforts are only as good as the energy of those involved. And let's face it - most people are lazy. They have good intentions. They come out of the gate all eager and excited with grand ambitions of involvement, but when push comes to shove and it comes time to do things that are tedious, less fun and quite time consuming, most folks either lose interest or just can't afford the time.

What the marriage equality movement needs is a serious injection of Obamafication. Okay, so that's not a real word, but I think we all know what it means. It refers to the amazingly well orchestrated and utterly egalitarian machine behind Barak Obama's campaign. There was clearly a central organization, but the people were empowered. They were given tools, a bunch of information and a central place to which they could turn.

It's not about either/or. It's about and.

And with that I'm reminded of the words of another Declaration - one that also lays near to my heart.

That all people are ... created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights ...

Proposition 8 - The silver lining

November 18, 2008 | Comments (0)

It took a bit of digging but after some time, a lot of conversation and even more rumination I've cleared through my layers of anger and disappointment about the loss on Proposition 8 and found the silver lining.

Why, you may ask, has it taken me this long to write these thoughts? After all, the election was almost two weeks ago and it's not as though the topic hasn't been anchored to the forefront of most of my conversations since then, right?

It's a good question.

And I have an answer for it.

Besides the obvious point that I am just a teensy bit occupied with the world that is business development at a start-up the truth is that I wanted to make sure that the energy with which I was galvanized after the election was ... for lack of a better word ... real.

It's oh-so-easy to get fired up in the moment, and even to sustain such energy for several days as you're swept along - by your own passion as well as the roaring river of others' emotions.

But most people have short attention spans. Myself included. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a bit more than cynical as to whether the collective disgust and fury (or my own) over the Prop 8 debacle would coalesce and gather momentum. Or would it suffer the fate of so many largely unstructured movements and fade away.

Ten days may not bring quite enough data to be considered a statistical conclusion, but I feel pretty safe in saying that just as Democracy proved itself alive and well on November 4th, in the time since, so has the equal rights movement.

Women and Leadership: Perspective on Recent McKinsey Survey

October 28, 2008 | Comments (0)

The following commentary is re-posted from ZDNET, where it appeared today as part of a collective commentary, curated by Dennis Howlett. The premise was simple: McKinsey did a survey of women in business. They put their report out a week or so ago. Dennis Tweeted about it, and was hit by a lot of comments. So, since the survey was about women, he engaged a posse of us to offer our thoughts.

I'm honored to be part of this group of amazing women, which includes:
Suw Charman-Anderson
Rachel Happe
Anne Kathrine Petteroe
Maggie Fox
Jennifer Leggio
Francine McKenna
Marilyn Pratt
Laura Fitton

If you missed the McKinsey survey, here's a link to a Forbes article that summarizes it pretty well.

With that, here's the commentary I proffered:

To be honest the whole gender thing in business has always been a bit off putting to me. While I cannot discount the fact that the glass ceiling - while deeply cracked - is still far from shattered, at the same time, I've always held that the most critical part of being a strong woman in business is just to be strong in business. Be aware of the issues, but keep your eye on the ball and kick ass.

Granted I speak from the perspective of a woman who has benefited from a cavalcade of strong females who marched ahead of me. These women, starting with the suffragettes and continuing through the ensuing ripples of the feminist movement, are the reason women like me have a relatively easy time of it these days.

But this isn't about feminism nor is it about gender equality. This is about how, in today's changing business landscape, perhaps it's time to look more closely at where the genders shouldn't be looking at their differences but instead start looking at how to emulate the best of both worlds. And considering where old practices have gotten us, perhaps it's time when being a woman - or at least acting like one - could be the most powerful asset you have for success.

The parts of the equation detailed in the McKinsey survey - feelings and such - are traditionally the purview of women. In today's world, however, compassion, heart and having some sort of emotional connection are of paramount importance ... regardless of gender.

The part I find amusing, actually, is the title of the survey. They call it "centered" management perhaps because the moniker "self" centered connotes the traditionally megalomaniacal, self-absorbed tendencies of the ruthless CEO - Larry Ellison comes to mind as one example. And it is true that if you look across the large number of successful business leaders, it is probably pretty likely that you'd be hard pressed to call any of them "nice", "kind", or "compassionate" individuals. Oftentimes I'd venture that it's their utterly self-absorbed, don't-give-a-shit about anyone perspective that has been central to their success.

But I would argue that the times allowing this sort of behavior are drawing to a close and that today's world demands different behavior. It's time to turn egotistical preoccupation into awareness and action.

To me the McKinsey survey results aren't a surprise, except maybe insofar as no one had said it already.

It has perhaps never been more critical in business - or in politics or anything else for that matter - that leadership exhibit a sense of compassion, understanding and self-awareness. Perhaps it's simplistic to put in these terms but it takes me back to childhood and the lessons taught by my parents. Specifically that the first step in being a strong leader is to first be strong within yourself.

Following the five points outlined in the McKinsey survey, it seems to me that the best leaders are ones who are most in tune with themselves and who can then take their awareness and put it into practice.

I would posit that while women do not have the corner on the market for this sort of behavior (I have worked with many a male CEO whose compassion was one of the core parts of their super leadership, in fact I'm working with one now) we do, perhaps, have a home court advantage.

But enough about my thoughts - what do YOU think?

You didn't expect me to let you try and get away with just READING this did you?

Of course not.

With that, here's a conversation I invite you to join. It was started on Seesmic, and has been embedded at ZDNET as well. When you click on "Play" the "reply" button will appear in the upper right corner. Clicking on that prompts you either to log-in to your Seesmic account or register for one if you don't. The sign up is super simple and you will not leave this Web site to do it ... so don't be shy ...

Behaviors in business: The female advantage?Forbes article summary of McKinsey report: http://www.forbes.com/2008/10/03/talent-women-leadership-lead-cx_1003mckinsey.html

The power of mentoring: Helping hands for women appying to Y-Combinator for 10/17

October 11, 2008 | Comments (1)

Wow.

That was a long headline. But it does say it all.

Ycombinator, a technology incubator based in Mountain View and Silicon Valley, is taking applications through Friday, October 17th 10pm PST for its winter 2008 incubator cycle.

The most excellent Susan Mernit has galvanized a small group of us who are interested in seeing if we can help increase the percentage of women accepted this time around.

So ... If you are a woman who is planning to apply to ycombinator for this cycle and you'd like to have some mentoring and support before you submit your application from an experienced woman CEO/executive/entrepreneur sort, there's a posse of dames with moxie who are interested in working with you.

(Yes, I am one of them.)

To get involved with this group and ideally paired with a mentor, send an email with contact information and information about your proposal to pinkgaragementors@gmail.com; we'll circulate your information among our team and reach back to you.

If you are mentored, you will receive an hour or more of coaching with a woman exec. who has been through a tech incubator program, has been a tech CEO or co-founder, a tech industry analyst/journalist, is a VC or maybe even some combination of the aforementioned.

I hate to pull the whole "women are just more compassionate leaders" thing, but the truth of the matter is that we're in dire economic times and those times - more than any other - call for the type of leadership that operates from both the head AND the heart. And I think it's pretty clear how things are now based on the leadership we've had to-date.

Who better to proffer an alternative than an intelligent, aggressive (in the good sort of way), powerful female entrepreneur.

Here's to helping foster a new generation.

Sharing: When a personal story can help others ...

September 12, 2008 | Comments (0)

There are a couple of topics I just don't address publicly. My health is one of them. But in this case, I'm making an exception - partly because it turned out to be a false alarm, and partly because it speaks pretty directly to the subject I addressed in this week's column for BitchBuzz.

I refrain from anything too personal in my BitchBuzz writing, because ... well ... it's not appropriate. But on occasion those experiences and stories merit sharing some backstory. This being a cautionary tale, I feel compelled to share.

It all began with a number.

That number was 139 over 95.

You might recognize that as a blood pressure reading. It is. Mine. And as someone whose blood pressure has been a solid 110/65 since I was, oh, 14 years old, that number was pretty shocking.

And it scared the shit out of me.

So I went to my internist to get it checked out.

I walked into the office, went back into an exam room and the nurse came in. She took my weight (depressing) and then my blood pressure.

It was marginally better, 135 over 80, but still pretty elevated.

Great.

In came my physician. Dr. Gary Apter. He's just about the calmest, most easygoing fellow you'll meet - good thing in a doctor. He's been my doctor since I moved to California 18 years ago and has seen me through some pretty rocky business.

He sat down across from me and we began to talk. He asked how I was doing. He asked what I was doing for work. He inquired about my family. And then, as he continued chatting with me, he began - very slowly - to move over and pull out the blood pressure cuff.

As we continued chatting he wrapped the cuff around my right arm. Then he said:

"Okay Cathy. Now I want you to take three deep breaths."

I did.

Nearing the third exhale, Dr. Apter began taking my blood pressure. The cuff tightened. I felt my breath catch. Dr Apter paused and reminded me to breathe. I did.

He finished with the reading and smiled.

The shortest post I've ever written here ...

September 02, 2008 | Comments (0)

So the whole idea of this blog thing is that you're supposed to jot off thoughts - quicksilver ideas that zip through your mind.

Thing is, I've always been more of an essayist and tend to wax on more than off when it comes to telling my tales and proffering any punditry (such as it is).

Twitter has gone a long way towards helping me shake up that foundation a bit. The whole concept of spitting out thoughts in 140 characters or less really makes you get to the point.

But when it comes to this particular space, my inclination is to meditate, ruminate and even on occasion marinate a particular thought or idea and then try to make some bigger picture connection.

Not tonight.

And it's for a simple reason.

I spent a bit more than two hours on the phone with a friend whose very voice on the other end puts a smile on my face and, more importantly, in my heart. The funny thing is that we've not been friends all that long, but in a relatively short period have shared some rather intense experiences, deeply personal stories and incredibly intimate emotions. It's a friendship that caught me completely off-guard (in the best of all possible ways), and my life is all the more rich for it.

So here I sit.

I should have gone to bed about an hour ago. But I find myself energized and relaxed all at the same time. Curled up in the chair that my parents gave me from my childhood home, gazing out from the muted amber light of my living room to the sparkling cityscape outside (there's a warm whooshing sound from distant traffic), I have a sense that the distant hum I hear actually is coming from inside of me.

I find myself smiling.

Happy belated birthday to me ... and Intel

August 30, 2008 | Comments (3)

What will computers empower us to do over the next 40 years?

This may seem a strange question for someone who's just coming back from a vacation, and so lest you think I've taken a turn for the geek in the last days, allow me to explain.

Friday, July 18 was Intels' 40th birthday.

I turned 40 in May.

Interesting parallel for me - the fact that Intel and I were born in the same year. I'm a bit older, actually, but I think Intel's had a bit more work done than I have ... at least so far. It's early yet on that front.

As for why I'm writing about this now instead of back in July, let's just say it's more like I'm just finishing up. I started this on June 5 and have iterated quite a few times.

But now that I've returned from my little vacation, freshly renewed and revisiting all that is tech, I figured it was time to post. If for no other reason than to start back to work (and kick-off September) with a fresh slate.

That, and frankly after spending time at the Intel Developer Forum last week I was feeling guilty that I'd not gotten around to this ...

To be honest, before getting the email heralding Intel's big anniversary, I hadn't given Intel's age much thought. Kind of like my own 40th.

I opted this year for a low-key (for me) approach to my birthday - a night out at the symphony with a friend (Brahms 4th ... and a superlative performance of it at that) and then a small gathering for champagne and dessert at Jardiniere's J Lounge.

But at some point during this "heck, 40's just another year and not a big deal" process, things shifted a bit. It didn't become monumental but it did become a mile marker. And with that I started thinking about my evolution over the last 40 years ...

What I'm doing now bears little resemblance to what I thought I'd be doing when I "grew up" but the motivation and the result are spot on. (If you ask what I thought I'd be doing ... I'll say this, Shakespeare was right, all the world is a stage...)

And I say Intel isn't all that different - except that they may have a few more challenges to face.

I'm in an interesting position from which to comment on this. I was invited to be part of a group that Intel initiated this year called the "Intel Insiders". Comprised by a collection of entrepreneurial/blogger/vlogger/media/communications sorts, the idea is that Intel gives us advance peeks at various projects in order to give our perspective and counsel on how to best leverage social media in those projects.

We had our first meeting at the start of the summer. It was a superb gathering, during which most all of those in the group [including some old friends: JD Lasica, Tom Foremski, Brian Solis, Chris Heuer, Christian Perry, Adriana Gasgcoine and new pals Sarah Austin, Frank Gruber (SomewhatFrank), Justine Ezarik (iJustine) and Irina Slutsky] met up at Intel's offices for a couple of hours to talk about the program and what we'd be doing.

We met and got to speak with a passel of Intel folks including Sean Maloney - who offered some surprising statistics regarding where Intel would be putting it's marketing budget moving forward. (Side note: he said that 80 percent of all marketing spend would move online in the next year. This is a considerable increase from their earlier statements on this.)

I had to skate out a bit early so missed the tour that resulted in this picture. But it was superb to bond with the group a bit and get a sense of what we might be doing.

That was several months ago, and to be honest we've not done a whole lot since then. There have been some emails but largely the program itself is still finding its legs.

But back to IDF and my thinking about Intel ...

Much of the conversation at IDF surrounded, as you might guess, the announcements the company was making but I had equally as many discussions about Intel as brand and bellweather for Silicon Valley.

Here is a company deeply embedded in the Motherboard of Silicon Valley - actually, scratch that, they pretty much built the Motherboard of Silicon Valley. In any case, they are at their very core a chip company. That's what they do. They make the stuff that sits at the heart of all those things we love - from computers to now television sets, set top boxes, cars and even a personal space flight vehicle.

But a couple of years ago, Intel made a choice. They decided that no longer did they want to be "just" that chip company. They wanted to be a consumer company.

No easy task.

I mean, most folks don't really care what goes inside their electronics, appliances or modes of transport - they just want them to work. This isn't too dissimilar from the challenge faced by another tech industry stalwart, Cisco.

So what's a company to do? People's minds and perspectives can and do change, but it takes Herculean effort and even then can be dicey.

Going back to where Intel's path and mine seem to run parallel - as I mentioned, while the things I do day to day may not be what I'd thought years ago, the type of work I'm doing and the motivation behind it (finding ways to get myriad, diverse groups connected and talking with each other) is right on the mark. It's taken me years of wending my way through a fascinating, if sometimes Labyrinth-like series of pathways, but at some point I internalized that which meant most to me - my core motivation if you will - and suddenly found myself square in the path of the work I'm currently doing.

Intel has taken the first steps. They have recognized that things need to change and are engaging with resources and outside voices to gain perspective. They seem to be listening to that counsel, and the next step will be for them to truly internalize and build on that new foundation.

It's a bit like changing the wings on an airplane that's already mid-flight across the Atlantic, but that's a different story.

And of course there's the issue of Moore's Law ... and whether or not Intel can maintain the increasingly breakneck pace with which the technology now accelerates.

From a personal perspective the whole time acceleration thing presents issues of its own, but as my friend Rob Hayes so kindly offered when I told him about my hitting the four decade mark in sync with Intel ... "Cathy, of course you're like Intel ... you get twice as good, every 18 months."

Here's to hoping.

I fell in love today ... and remember Monopoly

August 26, 2008 | Comments (0)

It actually happened two days ago - almost to the minute as I write this.

I fell in love with Vancouver. (That's Vancouver, BC, btw)

For those who know me, and even for many who don't, it's abundantly clear from any number of tales I may have shared that I have a deep, passionate and truly connected love for San Francisco. It goes to the marrow of my bones, and has been like that since I stepped off the plane on June 26, 1990.

Part of this love comes from perspective. I've had the good fortune to travel a bit - both around the US and a touch of international - and no matter where I go, and how much fun I might have in other places, the best part of any trip for me is that approach to SFO over the Bay (added bonus if lucky enough to be on the approach pattern that takes in a sweeping, banked turn around the downtown area of SF and the Golden Gate).

So when I had a moment here in Vancouver this past Sunday afternoon - a moment when my heart swelled like it sometimes does back home in SF - it made me catch my breath, and then smile.

It was an otherwise unremarkable moment in time, strolling along and turning the corner off Granville by the Vancouver Art Gallery. It may have been the smell (a deep, damp, green earth scent blended with wafting aromas of salt and brine from the sea); it may have been the light (dappled amber when not shifted to gray from the charcoal clouds pregnant in the sky); it was probably a bit of both combined with some deeper sense that just felt comfortable - not dissimilar to how I felt upon stepping off the plane in the Bay Area on that hot, June morning eighteen years ago.

Amidst the sounds of city (construction, traffic, conversations - a strangely melodic audio melee) I could hear the raucous laughter of seagulls - reminding me of my summers in Atlantic City, NJ. I was born and raised along the Main Line suburbs of Philadelphia, PA but summer - and many weekends in the winter "off" season - meant heading for the Jersey Shore and our place one block from the beach.

I tell people that I spent my summers in the yellow section of the Monopoly board - between Ventnor and Atlantic avenues not too far from Marvin Gardens.

Really.

My dad grew up down there - back in the days when Atlantic City, NJ wasn't the punchline of a bad Vegas joke but rather an elegant seaside community where people actually did raise children.

As I recall the story, he and my mother met the summer after she graduated Penn State University. Her family, which was from Philadelphia, spent summers in Atlantic City. So after her college graduation, down to the shore they went. And, as these things go, someone (probably from the synagogue) said, "Hey, have I got a nice boy to introduce to your Doris..."

And so my parents met.

There are funny stories about those early days, but those must wait for another day, because this is a story about the place not the people. More to the point it's about what it means when a place reveals itself to be your soul mate.

Atlantic City always has held an incredibly strong place in my heart. It does to this day. I adored those summers and to this day the scent of sea (and the usual accompanying aromas of tar and wood from docks) sends me to a very special place in my memory. A place that is equal parts safe, warm, happy and hopeful.

But I digress ...

I was talking about the experience of feeling suddenly at home in a place that is, for all intents and purposes, a wholly strange place. Sure I was in Vancouver once before - in the September of 2005 for about four days - but that doesn't exactly a deep relationship make.

And that last trip, while fun, certainly didn't amount to any sort of deeply connected experience. I had fun and noted that Vancouver was a place I had to visit again.

So to be strolling by myself down a random street and suddenly feel that I was home was a particular jolt.

As I noted in a previous commentary, I came here to Vancouver for some R&R and to see what might come up if I let myself ... just ... connect.

And here's the takeaway thus far ... home does lie precisely where the heart does.

My life: Unplugged

August 23, 2008 | Comments (0)

Okay ... I'm doing it ... I'm actually doing it.

Going on vacation.

I'm not headed anywhere particularly exotic, though I am leaving town.

The weather won't be tropical and beachy, in fact it may be raining.

But I don't care.

For me, this is all about just doing it. Unplugging.

"Um, Cathy. What's the big deal? People turn off their computers and cell phones all the time."

Really?

In light of the reactions that many gave to my telling them I was extricating myself from the social media power grid for a handful of days, I became more convinced that our ever-connectedness was, indeed, more than a little bit of a societal problem.

And then I read today's New York Times (Yes, I actually read the physical paper ... almost all of it I'm proud to say) ... and came across Ben Stein's column.

For starters, I love Ben Stein.

To anyone who grew up through the John Hughes films of the mid 1980s Ben Stein's iconic drone of "Bueller? ... Bueller?" punctuated pretty much any lag in response time during a conversation.

Over time I grew to learn that he was not just "that guy" from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but indeed an accomplished writer, comic, actor and someone who actually also had a solid knack for offering great financial advice.

While whirring away on the elliptical at the hotel gym today, Ben Stein caught my attention with his musing on the digital shackles with which we bind ourselves. He speaks of the things we miss - like being human.

And so that's my test for myself this week - just how connected can I be to the people immediately around me? How connected can I be to the sights and sounds and smells of my here and now?

Obviously I'm writing this while on vacation so I've not wholly severed my connection, but have committed to only writing and perhaps posting some photos from my adventures.

Who knows, maybe I'll have some stories to share.

I tend to think so.

Sharing Backstory: An expansion on my BitchBuzz post

August 20, 2008 | Comments (2)

I wrote a post on BitchBuzz this week talking about what happens when people who are normally rather adept in social situations run into momentary lapses of reason - due to technology.

The background on the story was left out of the post on BB, mostly because it's personal and so not appropriate to share there.

But I feel as though the story merits a closer look.

So here it goes...

A month or so back I was out with some friends. I was in a particularly cantankerous mood (which for anyone who knows me can mean anything from me being somewhat sassy to downright snarky. This particular night fell somewhere towards the middle of that continuum). One of the friends in the posse was in particularly bad state (recent break up and things of that nature). Suffice to say that this was an oil and water sort of situation that for some reason I felt compelled to Twitter.

Bad choice.

Transparency, Social Media and Where's Waldo

August 04, 2008 | Comments (2)

I'm not precisely sure at what point it happened, but it would seem that at some juncture I opted to live my life as somewhat of a group activity.

I don't know that it was particularly planned, orchestrated or otherwise arranged, but with very little exception I share pretty much everything.

Okay so that's not entirely true ... there are some subjects I've chosen to avoid altogether. There are others I raise only when utterly integral to a given story. But as a rule, the day-to-day, moment-to-moment experience that is my ever-so-mercurial ride through the world of start-ups, Silicon Valley and ... well ... life ... has become an open book.

Friends who've known me a while probably would just say that technology finally caught up to the way that I just ... am. Which, put in perspective, is that it's a pretty rare occasion when you can't tell what I'm feeling at a given moment.

If I'm happy - it's clear.

If I'm sad - it's clear.

And if I'm angry ... well, let's just say most folks don't particularly like me in the state. Frankly neither do I.

But that's not the point of this post.

I realized that unlike some of my blogosphere brethren, I don't have a sidebar on this blog that enumerates the various and sundry ways by which you can find me.

Quel horror.

And so, with a brief interlude at the keyboard, I rectify this trespass with the following selection of social media flavors. (It's not as though finding me on-line is particularly hard. Hell, just Google me and you'll see at least a few pages of accurate connections. Strangely if you remove the space between my names you get some other very interesting items. Like this video I've only just found ... )

But for those not inclined to hunt - and frankly so I have it all in one place - I've created this directory of sorts.

Twitter: cathybrooks
Facebook: cathybrooks
FriendFeed: cathybrooks
Seesmic: cathybrooks
LinkedIn: cathybrooks
Identi.ca: cathybrooks
Yelp: cathybrooks
Flickr: cathybrooks
YouTube: sfloislane
Plurk: cathybrooks
Upcoming: cathybrooks

Whether it's one or more of these, I hope you'll connect, communicate with me and - above all - tell me what you think.

UPDATE: People also have asked for a list of all the blogs on which I write (other than here, of course), so here's a quick directory:

Huffington Post - where I opine on issues facing the LGBT community around social media
Technically Women - where I hammer on issues facing women in technology (along with a bevy of other brainiacs)
Social Media Hour - my weekly Internet-based talk show focused less on technology and more on the way we use it.
Brian Solis - where I talk about all kinds of things, usually communications issues gone awry.

I've also written in the past for BitchBuzz, though haven't done that in about a year.

BlogHer 2008 - some views from afar

July 20, 2008 | Comments (0)

There was only one thing wrong with BlogHer08 - I didn't get to spend more than a handful of hours there on the first day. Sadly, my travel required my heading out of town and so had to miss almost everyhing, but I did have the pleasure of leading a session on the first afternoon . For the uninitiated, BlogHer is the annual confab that boasts one of the most comprehensive and powerful collections of women on the Internet.

My partner in crime for the session, Amber Scott, and I met only by phone and email prior to our leading the nearly two hour talk on videoblogging - a fact that shocked several of those who stayed afterwards to speak with us.

But should they have been shocked?

I think not.

San Francisco Pride - never a dull moment

June 29, 2008 | Comments (0)

As a rule, recycling is a lousy idea.

At least when it comes to relationships.

Let's face it. Generally relationships end for very good reason, and while we humans tend to romanticize those affairs and connections of the past, remembering only those beautiful moments fit for soft-focus camera close-ups, the truth is that when two people don't get along - for whatever reason - oftentimes it's due to innate parts of who they are. And people don't change.

Or do they?

An important milestone

June 26, 2008 | Comments (0)

I suck at math.

Okay, so maybe I don't suck, but let's just say that math and I are uneasy bedfellows at best.

This is why it's particularly amusing that I seem to have such a penchant for remembering numbers - dates, anniversaries, phone numbers, addresses ...

And today is a big number day.

Here's why ... and I share this story along with posing a question to you ... so take a listen and then chime in!

Testing, testing ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ...

June 19, 2008 | Comments (0)

So it's a VERY exciting day here at Seesmic! For the uninitiated, Seesmic is all about empowering people to talk with each other on-line using video as the conduit. And we've created a technology platform that enables you to have this conversation across multiple platforms at the same time.

Think of it like a big room full of people and the room has doors and windows all around it. Each door and window represents a different point of entry to the conversation. For some it might be via Twitter, for others from a social network, it could be from a blog or even from Seesmic itself.

What you see below is the first iteration of our brand new, threaded, standalone player - with built in record/reply functionality. This is a conversation that started on Seesmic ... expanded here to my blog ... and I also dropped it into my MySpace profile.

So check it out ... and if you don't have a Seesmic account already, if you click on reply below you can register and get one! Don't worry, no download necessary :)

Recycling, or how I decided to re-post an entry from my MySpace profile to avoid finishing another post.

May 26, 2008 | Comments (0)

Yes, I admit it. I'm a social media junkie.

I have a MySpace profile. And Facebook. And LinkedIn. And FriendFeed, SocialThing, MyBlogLog, Seesmic, Flickr, Upcoming, Yelp, Twitter (well, through Twhirl, at least). And that doesn't count the posting that I do here on my own blog or for Seesmic or LeWeb.

If the hypersensitive hyperlinked nature of the previous paragraph hasn't put you off too badly, hopefully you'll read this item I just rediscovered - on my own MySpace page.

Cathy's TravelingGeek Wrap-up

May 21, 2008 | Comments (0)

With the mental maelstrom sorted, I'm clear of mind enough to hammer out some final thoughts from my Kinnernet/Traveling Geeks 2008 adventure in Israel.

In the spirit of brevity (and clarity), I'm opting to embrace my not-so-inner-Virgo moon and clear out these last items in short order.

So fasten your seat belt, and perhaps keep a crash helmet nearby, as I whip through a series of powerful and impactful events:

Rogozin School
There is, at some point, a far more in-depth commentary from me about this visit. For now, however, I'll defer to the words of my fellow TG, Robert Scoble because his truly touching post paints a lovely picture of our visit.

Peres Center for Peace
In December 2006, I had the pleasure of hearing Shimon Peres speak at LeWeb. He said that while governments might posture and make noise about peace, the truth is that it was up to the private sector to establish the infrastructure necessary to maintain and grow a peaceful society. That is what the Peres Center for Peace endeavors to do - bridge chasms between disparate groups by bringing the sides together to tackle common issues (education, agriculture, children).

Good Vision
Sadly I missed most of this presentation. As was the case with pretty much our entire week, we were running late. Based on an earlier version of our schedule, which showed Thursday afernoon open, I had arranged a series of meetings with entrepreneurs in Tel Aviv.

My TG colleagues who took part in these meetings each offered glowing reviews. But rather than try and paraphrase, I'll point you to Renee Blodgett's accounting of the visit.

Israeli Entrepreneurship - the Ladies' Way
This trip to Israel brought with it several opportunities to meet a few of the powerful women rising in the ranks of this innovative community. Susan Mernit wrote a great post that captures the essence of how the woman who populate this incredibly aggressive and rapidly moving technology market manage to blaze trails while remaining utterly committed to forward movement of technology and in supporting other women in the market.

My last meeting finished up at about 7:00pm. The Traveling Geeks were to have one last dinner together, but unfortunately some pressing deadlines back in the States required that I work through dinner (since I'd spend the entire next day on the plane).

I sent the last email, got my bags pretty much packed, and that's when I made a decision that, while perhaps not the most intelligent choice I've ever made, certainly was fun.

Our flight was to depart at about 8am. That meant getting to the airport by 6am. Which meant leaving the hotel around 5:15am.

"No problem," I thought to myself. "I just won't go to sleep."

Oy.

While the tales of the evening are amusing, I have to think about whether or not they're appropriate to share ... (and of course if I have to think about it, that probably means the answer is that I shouldn't).

But in any case ... with the trip now in the rearview mirror and many adventures on the horizon, I conclude this last Traveling Geeks Israel 2008 post... and look forward to the future and more TG adventures!

From Old City Inspiration to New Ventures: A day in Jerusalem

April 16, 2008 | Comments (0)

The last 24 hours have been somewhat strange for me. There's been a sizable amount of meshugass on this trip - misfired communications, sardine-like conditions of our "bus" (which was actually a late model Ford van that the Israeli Consulate very graciously replaced today with a proper tour bus... YAY!), and the TG gang consensus that our goals for the trip and the itinerary were a bit off kilter.

Fellow TravelingGeek, Sarah Lacy, wrote a bit about our rebellion on Monday - an act that set into motion quite a few interesting activities and experiences.

As a result I have several half-finished posts sitting in my draft folder that I've just not been able to complete. (Confession: I'm a relatively newly minted blogger in terms of style. My writing has always tended to be a bit more in-depth analytical second day story type of stuff, so this whole rapid-fire writing thing is a new challenge).

In any case, that mini-backlog of items is going to have to wait a bit longer because after today's adventures I'm focused on something deeply important to me.

Faith.

More specifically the way in which faith inspires.

It's funny to think that on my first trip to Jerusalem in the summer of 1995, I found myself nearly paralyzed at my first approach to the Western Wall.. While I've only returned to the spot twice since that time, I've had exactly the opposite experience on each return. Rather than feeling repelled by the energy that comes off of this majestic edifice, it's as though a tractor beam grabs me, pulling me in.

But I'm getting ahead of myself... the story begins when we began the most enjoyable forced march you can imagine.

The TravelingGeek squad arrived in Jerusalem this morning and was met immediately by the warmly intense visage of Tikva Levine - the woman who was to be equal parts tour guide, historian and drill sergeant for our marathon morning. We had two hours to conquer a pretty substantial amount of territory in the Old City.

With Tikva charging in the lead, conquer it we would.

We began on the sun-drenched perch that is the Walter and Elise Haas Promenade. Tikva gave a superb overview, explaining the physical geography of the City, the history behind it, and the outlined where we'd go. Then it was back to the bus and off for the walled City.

Unlike my first Old City walking tour, which focused wholly on the Jewish aspect of this place, our tour encompassed the Christian Quarter and part of the Arab Quarter as well. We entered through Zion Gate, one of seven open gates into Old Jerusalem. With little time to spare, we proceeded in a near sprint from spot to spot - David's Tomb, the room in which The Last Supper is said to have taken place, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

(Note: I took quite a few pictures, as did Renee Blodgett, JD Lasica and Susan Mernit. When those get posted I'll add in the links here)

Out of deference for the personal experiences of my colleagues, I won't share what specifically occurred for some as we made our way along. If they wish to share what they felt, then they will do so in their own time in their own way.

These are personal experiences and not everyone writes with their heart stapled to their sleeve as I do.

Suffice to say that for more than a couple TGs there were tears accompanied by statements about feeling connected, overwhelmed with a sense of belonging, and ultimately a sensation that whatever feelings or beliefs they may have held before, their lives were now changed.

For me, the wave of emotion hit upon emerging from the Arab Quarter into the bright light of the plaza by the Western Wall. My body went into autopilot and I made a beeline for the spot where I have gone in the past. My forehead against the warm, silken stone I got that feeling - the one the draws me back again and again.

It's an incredible sensation that I've plugged in directly to a spiritual mainframe, with energy pulsing and throbbing through thousands of years of prayer into my body, racing through my limbs and back again. The tears began before I could even form a thought in my head, and welled up thickly behind my closed eyes. It's not until I briefly blinked a few minutes later that the flood streams down my face.

My time at the Wall was only about 10 minutes, but in that time I felt an eternity of energy and peaceful power seep into me. As is customary, I placed a note between the stones of the wall. I'd taken several minutes at lunch to write down some thoughts and wishes - both for myself and for friends. Backing away (you don't turn your back on the Wall, instead you're supposed to stay facing it and back up to the end of the plaza out of respect for the Holiness of the place).

We bade farewell to Tikva at this point and headed for a meeting with Jerusalem Venture Partners. Needless to say, at the time it was the last thing I really wanted to do. As we all rode on the bus towards the offices, we opened our computers and began to silently check email.

And then the Twitter frenzy began.

I'm not sure where it started, but unless you're subscribed to @cathybrooks, @sarahcuda, @renee27, @susanmernit, @jdlasica, and @scobleizer ... Well, let's just say that you missed a ridiculously hysterial (and yes, rather juvenile) stream of shenanigans.

(And by the way if you're NOT subscribed to all of those folks, I'd highly recommend you change that ... While we're going our separate ways at week's end and won't be cloistered in a bus any more, I get a sense the Twittering antics will continue ... but I digress...)

So we pulled up to the JVP offices still recuperating from our hysterics - the kind of deep, belly laughter (that for Sarah and me ended in massive coughing fits as we've both been sick on this trip).

Frankly I was worried about my ability to focus during the meeting. I didn't think that after such a deeply spiritual experience, capped by a near exhausting session of laughter that I would find anything else of interest.

I was wrong.

As this post is already rather lengthy, and since Robert Scoble captured quite a bit via his ever-present Nokia N95 and Qik. I'll wrap up by saying this...

Not only was I not bored, I found myself deeply engaged and wishing we had more time.

Perhaps it has something to do with the energy and power of this place that helps energize and propel the superb level of innovation I've seen this week.

After my experience at the Wall today, I tend to think that's the case.

Geeks and Heroism in the Holy Land

April 15, 2008 | Comments (0)

Our little ragtag TravelingGeek posse has had quite a time this week. Through our array of experiences - from the unsinkable Sarah Lacy battling what may well be Pneumonia and the startling experience Craig Newmark had while visiting Seambiotic - the wandering geeks have bobbed and weaved through minor adversity, managing to maintain a mostly jovial energy throughout.

But unexpected experience is part and parcel of life here, and I believe are also central to why, as one of my TravelingGeek compatriots, Robert Scoble, commented today, Israel is probably the only place outside of Silicon Valley where the pulse of entrepreneurship beats as powerfully.

From where I sit (which I should mention is on a brand new bus that the Israeli Government got the TravelingGeeks today for our trip to Jerusalem!), it's clear why innovation and entrepreneurship thrive here.

It's about fear ... or perhaps better to say, lack thereof.

One of the most critical ingredients to a well-baked entrepreneurial spirit is courage. This includes an ability to power forward in the face of adversity and confusion, the inner strength to get up and try again should the venture fail and the skill to focus on the task at hand, even when chaos reigns around you.

Just before our posse rebelled against the planned agenda on Monday, we took a visit to Rambam Medical Center.

Located on the far north of the country, this facility is one of five major hospitals in the country. It's also 35KM from the Lebanese border. In the summer of 2006, when war broke out and Ketusha rockets began raining from the skies, the staff of this facility stayed by their posts - even when the rockets began to fall closer and closer to them.

My fellow TG Susan Mernit did a quick post about our visit that you can read here.

And here are some pictures I took of Rambam from an overlook above Haifa.

So what does this have to do with entrepreneurship and start-ups?

In my mind it's simple.

When you have a culture where getting on the bus in the morning and going to work carries such a powerful risk - like potentially being blown up by a rocket or suicide bomber - the spector of failing at a start-up, I think, pales in comparison.

The people here - be they Israeli or Arab - have a sense of purposefulness about their day to day existence that keeps a rather healthy perspective on that which we sometimes take all too seriously back here in the cush and comfort of the US.

My Israel transition day

April 13, 2008 | Comments (0)

You know that whole thing about six degrees of separation?

Well, here in Israel that's more like .025 degrees.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I awoke this morning to a rather startling discovery. I had lost my voice.

But this wasn't one of those raspy, Lauren Bacall-sounding vocal issues, this was a flat out, phone rang, I picked it up, tried to speak and nothing came out. Not even a squeak. This was most distressing because I was due to speak on a panel at The Marker COM.vention in a few hours time.

What does this have to do with degrees of separation?

On further thought it's more like one degree of separation meets a strange game of telephone.

I called Brad Reddersen, the key point person for the TravelingGeek squad, to tell him of my dilemma and say that I'd be arriving at the conference a bit late as I wanted to try and salvage some voice for the panel.

He offered words of comfort, said I should call if I needed him to do anything, and that he'd see me later.

Thanks to a lengthy steam in the shower, buckets of hot tea with honey and a half pack of throat lozenges, I regained enough vocal capacity to head for the conference. And after a 20 minute taxi drive through the muggy morning I arrived.

That's when it began.

Conference organizer Nathan Lipson greeted me at the door, his arms open for a hug and a deeply concerned look upon his face

"Cathy, I heard you're sick? Are you okay? Can I do anything for you?

Smiling, I sidled up to him so as to avoid speaking too loudly and quietly whispered that I felt fine, just needed a bit of vocal rest, some more vocal hydration and I'd be ready to rock.

I headed for the conference cafe to hydrate, and had gone no more than 5-10 yards when I ran into Nimrod Kosklovski of PLYMedia.

He looked worried.

"Cathy, I heard you were sick. Are you okay?"

With a smile, I gestured that I'd merely lost my voice and was heading to get myself some tea. He smiled back. "Ah, a little too much singing at Kinnernet, eh? Well, let me know if I can get you anything."

I continued my walk to the tea concession, and had made it about another 5 yards when I ran into French investor, Marc Goldberg.

He looked worried.

"I heard you were really sick, Cathy. Are you okay?"

Again, I smiled, pointed to my throat and started to whisper that I'd lost my voice. Marc immediately offered to go and fetch tea for me.

I declined his gracious offer and made my way the remaining few yards to the table. In the time it took to get there, get the hot water, pick the tea bag and sort out whether I wanted honey or lemon no less than a dozen additional people stopped and inquired as to my health, offered to help with fetching beverages or lozenges and most all of them teased me about the fact that I - of all people - was rendered nearly mute.

This cavalcade of concern continued throughout the morning.

The part of this I found amusing - besides the part about Chatty Cathy being semi-silenced - was the fact that I'd made one call. I'd spoken with one person. And he was largely unconnected to most of those who said something to me. But somehow this one call propagated like a veritable conversational kudzu vine.

While amusing, it's actually not all that surprising. The truth is that this experience is a perfect example of the larger gestaldt that is Israel.

This is a country where it's not unusual for entire towns and cities and even the whole nation to go into mourning when someone dies. Because, more likely than not, you are merely one degree separated from them.

It's not just about its size, which is certainly a factor, it's about something far deeper. Because let's face it, there are places far smaller - cities like San Francisco for example - where people don't even know their next door neighbors.

In Israel, for as much conflict and contradiction as you find, there are equal and in some cases even greater aspects of connectedness with the history and the land, but also between the people. There's a sense of being in something together, almost a personal compact that living here is a team sport.

I do not mean to make light of the fact that there are serious chasms between cultural, religious and ethnic groups in this part of the world, but as with so many things the images and messages projected to the rest of the world lean heavily on all that is sensationalistic.

The truth is that, while there are unquestionable moments of drama and chaos, the day to day experience in Israel is a highly connected one.

Cathy's TravelingGeek Log: Back to Tel Aviv and on to The Marker COM.vention

April 12, 2008 | Comments (0)

Oy.

After three days at Kinnernet I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being just slightly south of knackered.

However, my physical state runs in stark contrast to the utterly energized cycles of my brain right now. You see, I should be well in bed, getting rested for my session at tomorrow's Marker COM.vention.

But at the moment, I'm too excited to sleep. The last several days were - as is always the case with Kinnernet - deeply steeped in passionate discussions about art, society, technology and how all those things come together.

The idea behind Yossi Vardi's annual confab along the shores of the Sea of Galilee (known in Hebrew as "The Kinneret", thus the play on words with Kinnernet) is simple: talk about anything - except for business. The result is an incredibly engaging experience of meeting people - truly meeting them.

Here's one of the superb new friends I met. His name is Danny Litani. A serious player in the Israeli music scene, he was very excited about the idea of Seesmic. So, of course, I showed him. And during the demo a special guest dropped by.

There are myriad videos from Kinnernet that I'll be editing and posting here over the next several days, which will of course be in addition to the ongoing updates from the Innovation Mission on which The Traveling Geeks are embarking.

So stay tuned ... as a friend of mine said this afternoon as we sadly departed Kinnernet 2008, the end is really just the beginning ...

En Route to the Holy Land - A perspective for the Traveling Geeks

April 09, 2008 | Comments (0)

It's a land of contradiction - equal parts historic, economic, social, political and religious.

But no matter who you ask, most people would likely agree that the collective set of countries called the Middle East comprise one of the most fascinating - and conflicted - parts of the world. In particular, one of these countries elicits an immediate and almost visceral reaction from anyone of whom you might ask: "What do you think about Israel?"

Last week someone asked that very question on Seesmic. Actually the question that Kfir asked was: "What do you know about Israel?" Here is the query in his words:

It wasn't long before a wave of people responded. The discussion had intense moments - sharp discord and heated debate followed quickly by an interesting thing ... something that almost resembled detente.

Here are some of the posts from that thread:

Seth chimed in from NYC

Omer spoke up ... from Israel

Tom Sparks chimed in, and the heated discussion began

Ramzi, an Arab man living in the US continued on Tom's thoughts

Of course, I couldn't stay out of it

And Ramzi replied

And of course since Seesmic is a conversation, Kfir came back and chimed in again ... with a bit of surprise and gratitude:

I won't put the whole thread here as it went on for about 50 replies, (oh for the day when I can embed a threaded conversation from Seesmic ... it's coming SOON!) ... But I think the above give you the idea.

It's not as though this discussion uncovered a solution to what is, in essence, a centuries-old conflict. But it did, I believe, reflect a glimmer of what could ... might ... can be possible if there can be found a way through which the various factions can be brought to the table - to talk, to listen, to communicate.

If there's one thing I have learned from my relatively limited exposure to this part of the world, it is that as much as we in the padded comfort of the United States might think we know ... that is precisely how little we actually comprehend.

And so it is into this land of contradiction I now go - writing as I sit at 35,000 feet, whooshing at a comforting 596 mph (with a less than comforting outside temperature of -67 degrees Fahrenheit) heading for a 10-day adventure in the Holy Land.

One thing is certain ... it's going to be an interesting trip.

Marinating since SXSW - blame the barbecue

April 08, 2008 | Comments (0)

In the spirit of disclosure the original "creation" date on this would be more accurate if it mapped to the time I spent in Austin, TX for SXSW.

But as with so many things of this nature, I only just compiled the thoughts and am now writing in the dark cabin of my United flight winging my way across the Atlantic (a quick glance at the in flight map shows we're just passing over Greenland).

Yes, this has been marinating since SXSW - perhaps a credit to the superlative barbecue that one finds in Austin,TX. In any case its catalyst was a session at SXSW focusing on Muslim extremism on-line and how the moderate Muslim community is arising to combat the way in which the fundamentalist faction of their people is destroying the overall essence of their existence.

Okay, so that may be a gratuitous over-simplification, but the truth is that with a topic so ridiculously complex, I don't know that there's any other way I can break it down.

As with most of the sessions at SXSW, the dais was packed. I came in late so missed the introduction for most speakers. The ones I caught were:
Mohammed Hluchan - Senior Middle East Analyst for Verisign, iDefense

Frank Cilluffo - VP for Homeland Security at George Washington University

Mohammed Khan - Head of Hadithuna.com a "blog farm" dedicated to dispelling the myth that there is a monolothic Muslim community focused on a radical purpose

From a critical point of view, I think this session totally missed its potential. I, for one, went with the hope that the panelists would spent a little time talking about their perspective and then that we, in the audience, would have the chance to speak up, ask questions and get some dialogue moving.

This wasn't the case.

Instead the moderator allowed the panelists to each pontificate. Sadly the first two speakers each went on for about 15 minutes - leaving 30 minutes for the last four speakers and for Q&A. This does not discount the value and information provided by those first two speakers. Candidly I think each of these folks would have been well served by having a 30-minute session of their own to talk about their work, and then interact with the crowd.

But I digress from the point I intended, which is to focus on the fact that - as we are all sadly aware - the "bad guys" seem far more capable of motivating, organizing and mobilizing than those who strive to find balance and peace. Again, a drastic oversimplification, but you get the gist.

Why is it that the "good guys" (who, in my world, are defined as anyone who's not overly saturated in dogma and is willing to at least consider a point of view other than their own) seem constitutionally incapable of rising up against those small, but ever-so-vocal-and-powerful minorities?

It's that whole one bad apple spoiling the whole barrel thing. But here's the thing, we're not apples right? Last I checked, human beings aren't inanimate objects. We have moving limbs, opposable thumbs and have even been known on occasion to have cognitive reasoning and rational thought.

So why on earth can those who so deeply abhor all that is extremism not get their shit together and crush the venomous voices who, given a chance, would throw various societies into chaos merely for their own gain?

I do not point only to the Muslim community on this. We are all guilty at one point or another. How many times have you stood idly by while someone behaved in a way that you found reprehensible? How many times have you opted to stay silent rather than get involved because it's just not your business?

One cannot condemn the entire Muslim world any more than one can condemn all Germans for what happened during World War II. To categorize an entire people as evil and wrong based on the actions of a subset of that group, in my opinion, makes those who do the condemning no better than those who they judge.

This trip I am now taking to Israel has many meanings for me. I'll spend the first couple of days utterly immersed in all that is geek and tech. From there, it's suits and business talk at a conference. Beyond that, the intention is to spend several days riding around Israel with a group of Silicon Valley peers experiencing everything we can about innovation in the State of Israel.

Underneath this trip, though, for me lies a question: What will it take to galvanize the silent majority so that they step forward? How can we, as a social collective, support each other so that those who are afraid to speak out can feel safe? What role does the technology industry play in this equation and how might social media take part in healing some of these deep wounds?

Where do we begin?

My inaugural journey to Israel - an initiation of sorts

April 07, 2008 | Comments (0)

My first journey to Israel occurred in 1995 as part of a mission from my family's synagogue in Southern Florida - Boca Raton to be precise.

The tale of that journey is one I've not shared publicly. I've told some friends, but for the most part, I've kept it to myself.

Until now.

I hadn't intended to go on the trip. I was planning an extended adventure in Alaska. It was one of those fly-into-middle-of-Denali-in-bush-plane-hike-raft-through-wilderness-get-picked-up-on-other-side-in-bush-plane things. But after an array of family events, not the least of which was my father's recovery from a rather invasive Cancer surgery, I decided that shifting my trajectory was the right thing to do.

And so in June of 1995 I found myself on an El Al flight to Israel.

For the record, I'm Jewish. I was raised in what would probably be categorized as a fairly traditional, conservative household - synagogue on most weekends, Hebrew school, bat mitzvah - the whole nine yards.

Somewhere around my 14th birthday, though, I pretty much gave up on the whole religion thing. Truth is I rejected G-d and in the process ditched any and all thoughts about organized religion.

But that is a story for another day.

The relevant bit here is what happened to me on this mission in 1995.

Since I wasn't dialed in to the whole religious experience thing I figured I'd focus on my family and absorb as much of the incredibly rich regional culture as possible.

We landed at Ben Gurion at about 11am on a hot morning in late June. The airport still was rather small and so we deplaned via an outdoor stairway onto the tarmack.

Stepping from the chilled tube of airplane the sharply dry air hit like the gust from an open oven door. Things started off with a trip to plant trees. From there it was to the Haas Promenade for an across the valley view of the old city of Jerusalem. It's that view you've seen a million times. Stately walls, speckled with minarets and flags with the distinctive, shimmering gold Dome of the Rock at its center.

We went to our hotel, and after a good night's sleep we were off for a walking tour of the Old City of Jerusalem.

If you've never spent time in any ancient sort of city there is one thing that seems pretty universal about those locations. In ancient times, when a marauding army of one sort or another was coming in, the people who lived there would raze their city to the ground so as to leave nothing for the incoming troops to inherit. They'd have to build from scratch.

And so throughout lands with this deeply seeded history you have layer upon layer upon layer of cities built upon each other leaving stratifications of civilization to uncover.

Back in 1995 they were still in early-ish stages of excavating parts of the old city. One such dig was an amazing discovery of a literal city street - complete with homes and paved roads - that lay about 40-50 feet below the actual streets of the existing city.

From deep below the city we emerged to walk through street upon street of this magnificent history. Images of ancient times juxtaposed with those of modern day.

After several hours we emerged at the top of a stairway that looked over the plaza leading to the Western Wall. For the uninitiated this space is also sometimes called the Wailing Wall ... though I lean towards the former title as it feels ... well ... less maudlin.

It is common practice to write a note with a prayer on it and then insert it between the stones of the wall. At the time, a friend of mine was pregnant with her first child. It was a somewhat late pregnancy and so out of concern for her welfare and that of her baby, I wrote a note wishing for an easy delivery and a healthy child.

I finished writing my note and then started walking the 200 or so yard journey across the plaza to the wall itself. With my mother on my left and my sister to my right things were going simply enough.

And then suddenly it wasn't so simple.

About 20 yards along, I felt as though I'd walked into a wall of some sort. I can't explain it any other way than to say that it was as though a very strong wind - the kind you might experience walking down a city street in Chicago - kicked up and was pushing in my face, almost holding me still.

My mother and sister kept walking and it wasn't until they'd gone another 10 feet or so that they realized I was no longer with them. I'd frozen in place, clutching my note in one hand.

If my mother were able to raise one eyebrow, she'd most certainly have done so, but as it was she walked back up to me with a simple, "Cathy? Something wrong?"

It took me a minute but I managed to squeeze out some sort of response. I can't recall precisely what I said, but it was something along the lines of: "I can’t go there. I can’t go to that wall."

From here I'll truncate the story.

After about 10 minutes or so of taking my time to walk in what must have looked a bit like a toddler taking first steps, I found myself nose to stone with several thousand years of history.

The next cognitive moment I have took place nearly 15 minutes later. My forehead was against the wall. My arms were stretched wide with palms flat against the stone above my head. Tears poured from my eyes and I had this incredible, deep, warm sensation - as though I were wrapped tightly in a soft blanket.

There, in that moment, I found a connection to something far greater than myself.

Was it God?

I have no idea.

But what I do know is that each day after took on a richness and depth beyond anything I'd ever known.

The next time I stepped foot in Israel was in March 2007. Twelve years had passed and the country had changed ... a lot. Unlike my first journey, this next one was wholly business-focused, and while I went to some of the same places, it felt a bit detached and clinical.

That is not the case this time around.

Once again I fly all these miles for what is essentially a business-oriented journey to attend a few conferences and strengthen my professional acumen. But unlike last year, I find myself in a different role with this trip. The Israeli Consulate is graciously hosting a group of us to spend some time - meeting with entrepreneurs, talking with business people and looking into all that which is innovation in Israel.

That may seem like it's all business, but on some level this year I feel a deeper connection to the journey and am quite curious as to what that may bring.

A balm for the soul - true friendship

March 03, 2008 | Comments (0)

There are moments in life when you realize just how precious friends are.

I had one such moment this weekend.

What happens when Cupid misfires

February 13, 2008 | Comments (0)

I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ridiculously romantic and am quite keen on showering love and affection upon those I love - especially if there's a particularly special someone.

Personally I don't think that this should be focused on one day a year but should instead be a rather persistent state of any given relationship - but that's not the point of this post.

No, this post is about what happens when a well-intentioned but socially inept individual steps forward ... and puts his foot directly into his mouth.

Excuse me, but do you take requests?

January 15, 2008 | Comments (0)

When people ask me if I'm a blogger or if I have a blog. My answer, generally, is no.

Of course I have this site, which contains my various ranting, raving and occasionally ponderous musings, but it's not a blog.

Because something rather substantial is missing ...

The merits of anonymity

December 28, 2007 | Comments (0)

As a rule, today's digitally dynamic world requires an acceptance of living one's life in an almost thoroughly transparent manner.

Put simply, if there's something you don't want people to know, it has become a conscious decision with considerable effort to keep it private. At least that's the case for folks such as myself whose carbon-based lives oftentimes sit in the shadow of our digital selves.

Of course, some might argue that the Internet is anonymous and that there are many people who hide behind the Web's ample skirts, refusing to show their faces either with the intention of embracing an alter ego or, as so sadly is often the case, to skulk in shadows so they can deliver nasty comments and criticism to others.

But for the most part, the on-line realm exists as place where all things are laid bare for any and all watchers. Some applications do exist, however, that offer an invisibility cloak of sorts, and it is thanks to such an application that I've had a rather amusing time of late.

Old Fashioned Gal in a New Media World

December 08, 2007 | Comments (0)

I admit it. When it comes to media consumption I'm really rather old-fashioned.

Strange to say, perhaps, for someone who logs into email and checks her RSS feeds before pouring her morning coffee, but in spite of my digitally saturated information existence, I retain a strong connection to the actual printed word.

And boy is my chiropractor happy about that.

An open letter to a friend (you know who you are)

December 01, 2007 | Comments (0)

This letter has been several weeks in the writing - mostly because the earlier versions were laced a bit heavily with vitriol. So as with things of this nature I opted to cool off.

Now with a few weeks behind me I felt that I would do the mature thing ... write you via this site because based on your blowing me off the last time I tried to talk with you, I figure that a direct attempt to talk would probably fail anyway.

And I need to get this off my chest.

Technologically gifted ... socially inept

November 17, 2007 | Comments (0)

Why is it that the more technologically advanced society becomes, the more socially retarded people seem to be?

Or is it just that with the pervasive nature of interconnectedness I'm just now exposed to a hell of a lot more people and in that increased volume it's inevitable that ratio of poorly behaved folks rises?

Whatever the case, I'm hoping that the latest interaction I've had is merely a case of social ineptitude ... and not a stalker.

Expectations and Mythology

November 12, 2007 | Comments (0)

It can be an incredible burden.

For people who choose to live their lives in the public eye, there comes a level of scrutiny and expectation that most people never face.

It's true that in today's world more and more people are opting to live their lives out loud with social networks, YouTube, Twitter and newcomers like Seesmic providing anyone with the emotional fortitude (or total lack of discretion as the case may be) the means to splay their lives open sharing every aspect of their existence with whomever wishes to read, listen or watch.

But I'm not talking about that kind of public eye.

A case for ego

November 11, 2007 | Comments (0)

The morning dawned sharp and cool in San Francisco. Yesterday's rains left behind a crystal clear dawn and crisp scent of fall in the air. Knowing I was heading for overcast skies and showers in LA made it a bittersweet trip to the airport, but one thing gave me a sense of joy about the whole thing.

It meant I would have time to read my entire Sunday New York Times.

The Sopranos, Bruce Springsteen, and equal rights?

November 07, 2007 | Comments (0)

I spent every summer growing up "down the shore" in New Jersey. Ventnor, NJ to be specific.

(For you board game aficionados, that would be the yellow section of the Monopoly board, between Ventnor and Atlantic avenues mere blocks from Marvin Gardens. And for those of you more geographically inclined, exit 2 of the Turnpike.)

So when I awoke to a note this morning from my friend Chris Shipley that pointed me to a site related to my Pinelands stomping grounds, I was amused.

It's long past time for this story

October 28, 2007 | Comments (0)

Though I've mentioned him in a post or two during the last year, I've not spent much time talking about Truman.

It's time to rectify that.

It's time to tell the story of H. S. Truman Brooks.

Aromatherapy

July 12, 2007 | Comments (0)

It's on nights like tonight that it hits me particularly hard.

It's late and I was going to step outside with Truman for his pre-bedtime constitutional. The front door of my building is a heavy one - my building being one of those early 1920's Edwardian sorts that's so prevalent in San Francisco.

First the low squeak of the hinge, then a nearly silent whoosh as it swung back, and then I caught it - that unmistakable scent ...

Soul-d out ...

June 19, 2007 | Comments (0)

It's said that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Frankly I think that complimenting someone directly has a bit more sincerity to it, but that's just me.

In this case, I found myself intrigued by an application that a friend posted to her MySpace page.

And so with credit going to SM for introducing this, I share a little test with you here, along with my results ...

WAIT ... READ THIS ...

May 17, 2007 | Comments (0)

How many times have you gotten one of these?

Read It!!!
Read this today and don't delete it if you are too busy!!
You'll see.

The ever-present email chain letters. In our digital age they have become, well, no more than yet another junk mail message slapped into the in-box. More often than not I just delete them, but every now and again I've forwarded my fair share. The message of this one though, I thought merited a more permanent location for reading and so I've posted it here ...

Of course, that could be a serious problem...

The carbon-based delay

May 09, 2007 | Comments (0)

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

The other day I commented on the bittersweet irony of the fact that recognition of my birthday came largely through digital reminders from various and sundry on-line services. I went pretty much the entire day without even so much as a handshake in recognition of the day.

It would seem that I need to be more patient.

Many (automated) happy returns

May 08, 2007 | Comments (0)

Technology has popped my birthday balloons today.

Here I sit, thousands of miles from home, on the day that marks my entry to this earthly plane, and the only greetings that I've received have been those sent automatically from various and sundry automated services.

There's been one human greeting - from my big brother, who proffered a humorous humming of the traditional birthday tune, tagged with a warm greeting for best wishes on this day.

But the rest of them ... all from the land of ones and zeros.

Shades of Gray-ish

January 04, 2007 | Comments (0)

It's to be expected, I suppose, that in a city known as a place of great understanding and openness, that few things are clearly defined. From political views to sexual preference, everything in San Francisco seems to be on a wide-ranging scale of shades.

So it's funny to me that when it comes to the weather, that things here are so terribly abrupt. Many may disagree and say that San Francisco is mostly the same year round with temperatures ranging around the 60s no matter the season.

But I disagree.

Following the mile markers

November 26, 2006 | Comments (0)

I have decided that today is the day I start exercising.

Anyone who knows me even a little now has a quizzical furrow between their brows. Except, of course, for the subset of my circle with a new beau ... bo-tox.

Whether visible or not, the confusion is palpable.

"Um, Cathy ... Start exercising? You're already at the gym most days. We don't have to have an intervention, do we?"

Rest easy, my friends. I'm talking about restoring some slightly atrophied muscles of a different sort ...

Indian summer and a hole in my heart

September 16, 2006 | Comments (0)

Everyone knows that fall is the sweet spot in terms of spectacular weather in the Bay Area. Today is no exception - not a cloud, deep blue skies and warm sunshine bathing the City.

But despite the brilliance of today's sun, I have no shadow.

It's not just a football trophy ...

June 19, 2006 | Comments (0)

Well, I did it. It took one or two more running starts since posting my last essay on the topic, but I finally spoke with my friend. You know, the one for whom I found that I was developing feelings beyond just plain old friendship.

I got the Heisman.

An unexpected day in Madrid

May 14, 2006 | Comments (0)

After flying all day and all night, and arriving at Madrid's Atocha Train Station at 8:30am the last thing I wanted to hear from the ticket guy was that my reservation wasn't actually confirmed and the trains to Zaragoza were sold out.

No sweat, I thought. I'll call the folks from Guidewire Group and get to the bottom of this.

That's when I found out that my cell phone wasn't working.

Okay, I get it, now stop hitting me in the head.

April 23, 2006 | Comments (0)

There's nothing like an epiphany. Though I'd be pretty happy if rather than a sharp smack upside the head that the lesson came more like a golden amber shaft of light piercing low grey morning clouds over the glassy slate of an ocean or bay.

No such luck.

Fireflies

April 17, 2006 | Comments (0)

This past weekend I went to Hollister. It's a ranching town about two hours south of San Francisco. Though I've hated the rain this winter, when I saw the impossibly emerald blanket tucked around every hillside and field, I forgave Mother Nature and then took a deep inhale of fresh crops and raw earthen sod.

Ranchland is a fairly new experience for me. After all, I grew up in suburban Philadelphia. But somehow, when I sat late at night in my friend's cottage, my thoughts turned to home. More specifically they turned to a hole in my heart where home was. A hole dug six years ago. The hole that sits where my father used to be.

Sapphic Wildlife

April 03, 2006 | Comments (0)

March 29 - April 2, 2006 marked the 16th annual Dinah Shore golf tournament in Palm Springs. Technically it's not the Dinah Shore any more. It's now called the Nestle Lipton Tournament. But to many it is still the Dinah Shore Weekend - one of the largest gatherings of the lesbian community in the world.

This year I made my maiden voyage, so to speak; and for me the Dinah Shore Weekend was more than a Sapphic scenario. It was also one of the more fascinating spots for people watching I've experienced in quite some time.

The Quality of Time

April 02, 2006 | Comments (0)

I just did something unusual. I took a vacation. It wasn't big one, and I didn't go anywhere exotic, but I did unplug from the grid (translation - no work email but not offline wholly) for a couple of days.

Of course, shutting my brain off, or at least shifting it into a lower gear, takes a while, so I found myself sitting in a restaurant my first night taking notes.

Here's what transpired ...

Look ... up in the sky ...

March 13, 2006 | Comments (0)

I was a big fan of the League of Justice as a kid. I never really thought much about which superhero I was, though ...

Until I took this quiz ...

I love a good dill, but how did I get into this pickle?

February 20, 2006 | Comments (0)

DISCLAIMER: I started writing this on February 20, 2006. I got as far as the first two sentences. After a rather epiphany filled weekend in April I finally put the rest of these thoughts together.

In the spirit of continuing a theme, I've been thinking about boundaries. And I've come to a conclusion.

Where do you draw the line?

February 10, 2006 | Comments (0)

I saw a great cartoon in The New Yorker not too long ago. It was a single panel with a businessman sitting behind a desk. Another businessman sat on his lap saying ...

Neptune and the Power Crisis

January 30, 2006 | Comments (0)

Whenever I go through a major transition of any sort the first place I head is the beach. And whenever I do, it seems that Mother Nature is well aware of why I'm there.

Powerful Images

January 18, 2006 | Comments (0)

As the daughter of an architect I spent many an afternoon as a child wandering around construction sites - always supervised, of course.

A Manifesto

January 10, 2006 | Comments (0)

I figure it can't hurt to reinforce the reason that drove me to do this site in the first place ... beyond the basic fact that I'm an opinionated sort who tends towards verbosity ...

But in case it's not clear from what you may have read on the site so far, here's a direct commentary ...

Pith and eloquence

January 01, 2006 | Comments (0)

When I worked in the corporate gauntlet, I often gathered interesting quotes to post by my desk.

It was one way to screen the bland walls of my corporate jail cell. It was also a way to surround myself with inspiration and humor. And in some cases send not so subtle hints to the bureaucratic world around me.

Now that I'm starting off a fresh year with a fresh perspective ... not to mention somewhat fresh liberty from working in a 9 to 5 world ... I thought I'd share some of my favorites.

Quite a few of these were sometimes used in signature files for my business email at work. Guess which ones raised hierarchical eyebrows!

A bit slow on the upload ...

October 22, 2005 | Comments (0)

I love technology. I think gadgets are super cool. Unfortunately I don't quite have my act together in terms of the technology I need to get my audio files uploaded.

But thanks to my friend John Furrier my voice is finally on the Internet.

We spoke while I was at the BlogOn 2005 conference in New York. Our topic - PR and social media.

Check it out!

Just in time

October 19, 2005 | Comments (0)

Lucky for me I decided to clean out my old AOL in-box today!

I came across a note from my friend Tiffany Shlain with information about an excellent film airing on Showtime Networks' Sundance Channel at the end of this week. I've seen this piece and it is stellar.

So here are the details:

"Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness" has been acquired for TV
broadcast by Showtime Networks' The Sundance Channel. It will begin
broadcasting on TV this Fall:

Television airdates are:

Thu 10/20/2005 8:45:00 PM
Wed 10/26/2005 6:45:00 AM
Wed 10/26/2005 7:15:00 PM
Sat 10/29/2005 7:45:00 PM
Mon 10/31/2005 10:45:00 AM

Don't miss it!!

I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly ...

September 25, 2005 | Comments (0)

I'm sorry, but this has to be one of my favorite new quotes ...

"I mean, I've had a lot of M.B.A.'s that've worked for me over time, off and on, that, excuse my French, were useless as teats on a boar hog."

The source of this brilliance is ...

Images of Family

August 20, 2005 | Comments (0)

With the Israeli withdrawal from Gaza, I can't help but think back to my first, and what has so far been my only, trip to Israel 10 years ago.

Frankly, it was the last place I wanted to go that summer. My hope was to head for Alaska and spend several weeks camping in Denali. So the idea of flying with several hundred members of my sister's congregration to the Middle East in June and riding on tour buses around the desert left a bit to be desired.

Then my father got sick.

What would Mrs. Lincoln say?

July 02, 2005 | Comments (0)

Other than that ... other than that ... I'm getting so sick and tired of people exploiting this phrase - one that is quite near and dear to my heart, as you might imagine based on the name of this site.

It's not that I feel this phrase is mine or anything. Actually it's quite the contrary of that. This is the most democratic of phrases, one that should be used far and wide.

Except by idiots.

Rainbow dis-connection

June 15, 2005 | Comments (0)

I just don't get it.

Why is it that groups of people who are marginalized by mainstream society always seem to have an insatiable desire to do the same to others?

I guess it's about Pride.

But before I go any further, I owe you a disclaimer ...

A fresh perspective

May 30, 2005 | Comments (0)

There are so many of them.

Off-hand comments, tossed carelessly into a conversation in the way that one might toss their coat onto a chair upon entering a room. They permeate our lives, popping up several times during the course of one day, emitting such a consistent low hum within conversation that we barely seem them.

Except on those occasions when one spikes up and smacks you in the face (kind of like a rake will snap up and crack you if you step on the tines).

This is one such story.

Vroom

May 15, 2005 | Comments (0)

Your engines are racing, your gaze sharp and your heart thumping.
Then an incredible, almost erotic tingle begins. For some it starts in the extremities. For others it emerges as a deep vibration from the core.

It's delicious and seductive this feeling, but it feels dangerous. Do you give in? Do you pull back? The feeling continues to rise, the sensation growing stronger ... You're at the brink ...

The power of manifestation

May 03, 2005 | Comments (0)

I've been told I'm a rather persuasive person. I guess that's true, but I'm a bit worried because it seems that I may have willed a truly ridiculous piece of verbiage into existence.

When I talked about finding home (It Is What It Is - 2/20/2005), I poked gentle fun at the corporate citizens among whom I spend my time every day. Specifically I noted the rather irritating and all-too-familiar tendency of people in the business world to make up words. Nouns become verbs. Verbs become nouns. It was in this discussion I tossed out the word "templatized". Never did I think that such a horrific mangling of verbiage would actually see the dim light of a conference room.

I was wrong.

Six little words ... a cop out or real explanation?

April 20, 2005 | Comments (0)

I'm a firm believer in the when a door closes a window opens philosophy of life, but those six words sometimes drive me nuts.

There but for the grace of ...

April 08, 2005 | Comments (0)

In January 2001, something terrible happened in my neighborhood. I can guarantee you heard about it. A 33-year-old woman, just coming back to her apartment with groceries, was brutally - and fatally - mauled by her neighbor's two dogs.

I never met Diane Whipple, but what happened to her could have happened to me. Literally.

My personal Everest ...

March 15, 2005 | Comments (0)

I've been having a hell of a time getting started on this site.

You'd think someone whose first grade nickname was Chatty Cathy Doll (alternated with Babbling Brooks)would find churning out content to be second nature.

At first I thought it was merely a bad case of procrastination. Of course, it took me quite a while to determine it wasn't - mostly because I kept putting off sitting down and thinking about it.

Now that I've finally gotten around to it, I see that the truth is simple.

Finding home

February 20, 2005 | Comments (0)

It's funny. Sometimes we do things in life that don't have any rhyme or reason at the time, and later it hits you like a beam of light - in my case a rather heavy 2X4 of oak thunking me upside the head.

Like this revelation I had the other day. Well, the other day a couple of years ago, but I wasn't writing this Web site then.

In any event, when I first moved out West in June of 1990, it was because I'd never been to California and always wanted to check it out.

Conquering Challenges

January 15, 2005 | Comments (0)

I used to have this friend. His name was Greg Levian. We met not too long after I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area. It was the summer of 1990, some time in June or July I think. All I know is that the ink was barely dry on the lease for my mold-infused cubbyhole of a studio in Mountain View.

Born and raised in the Main Line suburbs of Philadelphia, PA, I'd never been west of Chicago - not even to interview for the job that gave me the excuse to move here. To be honest, the excuse was a flimsy one, because the true reason for my 3,000 mile journey was simple. It's why many people upend their lives and drop blindy into the challenge of the unknown. I moved for a woman - a remarkable woman of great mystery and beauty.

Tee hee ...

January 05, 2005 | Comments (0)

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